TOP

Thursday 27th December

The last trail of the year - moved to a Thursady to miss the bank holidays - was not a bad evening . Only 20 including the two walkers for an expected low turnout - Bearing in mind only a few years ago this would have been a large group.

Martin set tonight on his ownsome as Brooke was down with the lurgy and not up to running - shame as it was a nice trail. Martin had set about 5.5 miles with a reasonable number of checks with - for him - a restricted amount of mud. Careful setting took us through a small part of the trail twice in succession, possibly to the relief of Tony H as some of those going round the 2nd time managed to catch him before he started the second loop.

A good trail and following is a report from our on-on sec Heather

27th DECEMBER 2007
It seemed a bit strange getting ready to go our hashing on a Thursday night - wrong things on TV etc. Tony E. cried off sick with a bad cold, Nick tried the same but I told him a walk in the fresh air would do him good. Being so close to the festivities there was a lowish turn-out (would have been considered huge a few years ago) of about 20. Only two walkers - Allan and Nick who strolled off in the opposite direction to the rest of the pack.
Of course it was a well planned and executed trail laid by the splendid Mr Hack. Although he does enjoy running through the mud on other people's trails he is usually quite kind on his own trails and this turned out to be the case tonight. Mostly on roads with the odd excursion along slightly slippery tracks and the not too bad field (treated to two of them twice for good measure), the pace was fairly brisk and we arrived back at the pub in very good time to join our two walkers. Martin announced that as he was not driving he would perhaps have several pints (5). The red wine was excellent.

A Good time had by all another FIVE STAR HACK event.

Tuesday 18th December 2007

The trail tonight was set by Mike and Pam - having made their way back from Portugal to do so - brave people - and also did the lots of yummy food thing they do so well.
The evening sky went clear and the moon was at ¾ so maybe full next week. As a result the temperature dropped. Fortunately there was no wind so once running we soon warmed up.

Off we went round the back streets of Pickmere until we met with the mere itself. For a change we went off in a clockwise direction through the mud before going up onto the road again Soon we were off road again as Mike completed the circumnavigation of the mere before we met up with Pam and a huge pot of mulled wine which we endeavoured to consume.

A little more road work brought us past the Red Lion and then home.
A good trail though I have never neeeded to break the ice on my shoe-laces before so that I could undo them. Tonight also marked two celebrations 1. Allans 1000th Cheshire hash and 2. Nicky's birthday - for which Pam had made one of her rude cakes -This time with four little naked men with different levels of endowment.

Tuesday 11th December 2007

As I was recovering from an infection I wandered around the bright christmas lights with Allan and the other walkers - tonight swelled also by the presence of Adrian L -- As a result there is a report written by our own on-on sec Heather.

Waitrose Car Park, Sandbach - Roger Turner & Cat Wells

We all gathered in the lower part of the Waitrose car park full of trepidation - it was a Roger Trail and it had been VERY wet recently!! Cat looked cheerful enough but did own up to having walked around the set trail again on Sunday as it had been pouring with rain on Saturday when the duo had actually ‘laid the trail‘. Tonight it was fine and mild. John M. was out again with his rucksack full of bricks, in training for the MDS in the spring, Luckily I know that I hate getting sand in my shoes so that is one race I will definitely NOT be entering.

After Roger had called order and given the usual string of instructions - as usual no one was listening - we were led off the first check where half the hash attempted to get themselves run over as they crossed the road. On On through the housing estate where Santa’s little helpers had been very busy decorating the houses, one even had some tasteful carols playing too. All was going well as we ran along various paths and ginnels eventually passing the motorway service area and up the service road and feet still warm and dry,. there was then some mutterings about a muddy lane - they were right it was muddy and particularly smelly. Tony mentioned that the lane was one of his old ‘courting’ haunts we can only presume that it was much dryer in those days!

On we went, tempted by the canal but ran across the golf course instead until we arrived back at the canal at one of Nicky’s checks from a couple of weeks ago. This time it was off along the canal to Wheelock, up the hill back towards Sandbach, Cat was doing a good job rounding up the back end of the Hash and admitted that she was enjoying her first stab at trail-laying. However just as we were thinking that we were in for an easy trip back into town the trail went left past some cottages, a man from one cottage came out to complain that we had woken up his children - we all rushed down the path onto the old disused railway line (the Salt Line) and left Roger apologising to him.

Off the Salt Line and under the bridge we were confronted by more mud - was Roger making a late bid for ‘The Plank’ award again? But no, it wasn’t too bad after all and we were soon back on yet another lane and heading in roughly the right direction for home. The last check and it was into the field by the farmyard - a well known quagmire - there were lots of groans and squawks as people staggered about, I decided that a short detour along the lane and then over the fence further up the field might be worth while, and it was.

As we eventually emerged from the undergrowth onto the road we were greeted by Roger insisting that we take great care in crossing the main road yet again and getting to safety in the car park.

The George had been selected as the hostelry - Cat and Roger (I suspect encouraged by Cat) had organised a veritable feast of sandwiches and assorted nibbles , much appreciated by all.
Many thanks to both, and I don’t think you’ll get ‘The Plank’

Tuesday 4th December

A report tonight from Ken as I was off with the Walkers

Farmers Arms, Kelsall. – 2 Daves.

Since Victor rated my recent trail as ‘average’ (high praise indeed!), I thought I would reciprocate with a view on this 2-Daves effort which was ‘quite good’. Usual diarist Max was out with the walkers due to crocking himself on a safety exercise at work.

The evening was incredibly mild with the sky starless and bible black as we started with a stiff climb up the hill to Kings Gate. There was speculation as to what was in the rucksack that John Moorhouse was wearing – rocks?, beer?, his butties? After toying with the Sandstone Trail for a while it was into Primrose Hill Woods from which we didn’t emerge for several hours. Martin Burke who owns a wood burning stove was seen eyeing up a stack of recently felled logs. I noticed that they were labelled up for use by BT, presumably for trunk calls.

The thing about forest trails is that they can become a bit samey. Someone pointed out that since we visited some of the checks more than once, parts were actually the same. Eventually we re-surfaced at Gresty’s Waste where some wimps (me included) baled out in the direction of the pub missing out one last hill. The Pub was soon packed with thirsty runners tucking into the Black Sheep from a good selection of beers. Normally a Hash favourite this pint was below par, so I opted for the Moorhouses which was excellent. I don’t know how John finds the time to brew it.

Apologised to Cat on the way out for missing her maiden trail next week, She should be ok though, after all she has got Roger to help her!

Tuesday 27th November

Nicki set the trail with Cliff from the Romping Donkey - a very nice pub near Sandbach. It got even nicer after the trail when we found many nice beers along the bar - Bombardier,Abbot, Black Sheep, Deuchars.

However back to the trail - Numbers were back up a bit this week - about 44 including the 4 footed variety and we were delayed for a short while at the start as Cliff had gon round the trail to check that all was intact - glutton for punishment or what? There was promise of road and field, tarmac and mud to whet our appetites but fortunately the evening was mild and dry. Off we went and I started my trend for the night which was to get the trail wrong. Off I went with Paul Jackson and John Richardson along the banks of the reiver but unfortunately we were wrong - fortunately cliff was waiting for our return and we caught up at the next check.

We were taken through various fields until we passed underneath the M6 to view the other side and run through extra slippy cow muck before making our way along, what would be in summer, very pretty footpaths followed by some long distance bridle way and back to the pub for refreshment.

Much mirth was generated by the late arrival of Roger T - but for the reason for that you will have to look back through the report archive.

Tuesday 20th November

Tonight saw Tony White's first trail as main setter and designer and on a bitter Sunday morning I helped him lay out the trail. Apart from suggesting the first check with the main A56 could be dumped and finding a few new check points he hadn't noticed - the trail remained as he created it

The trail can be found at Map My Run http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/warrington/437518697

There were only 36 including walkers(3) Cyclists(2)and dogs(2). The Cyclists Dave and Sid - both suffering leg problems- cycled from Knutsford over to the pub and then went off to Dutton and back with John S kindly transporting them and their bakes back to Knutsford after.For the rest of us however there was the benefit of an improvement over the weekend - no wind - so it was fairly mild and the rain held off nearly all the way round

As you can see from the map the trail was fairly compact and came close to meeting itself in sevaral places but all returned successfully to base and some beer.

Tuesday 13th November

Not a lot of report from me on Rob's trail from the Whipping Stocks. The pack was good and prompt, the weather was kind but cold and I very slightly pulled my Achilles after setting out well for the first ¾ of a mile. So rather than risk it I trundled back to the pub where I sat in front of a blazing log fire drinking Sam Smiths Old Brewery until the pack got back at Ten past Nine. Ah well some of us do suffer trials and tribulations....

Tuesday 6th November

A little behind-hand for this report on the excellent trail from the Bull at Hale Barns

As is almost a tradition with the hash Nick and Heather set for the trail nearest to Bonfire night and this was into an area we have not covered for a while. The Bull is a fine big pub just off from the centre of Halbarns and situated near plenty of routes - many of which appear to be near exceedingly large very posh houses. Some of the back streets were broader than the main road!

We started off along the road towards the M56 before making a sudden break across the Golf course from which we could see the continuing firework displays carried over from Bonfire night This followed with us heading towards Wellgreen before cutting back into the houses snd into a secluded footpath. After this we headed in the general direction of Ashley and round in a clockwise direction before we approached the pub from the South for the run in.

Certainly up to their usual standards and a pub with more than enough room for the hash.

TOP

Tuesday 30th October

John Richardson and Peter R took us from the Ship at Styal - a fairly posh area near Manchester Airport. The claim was that the trail was 6 miles and 32 checks but the after trail feeling was that the SatNav lied due to tree cover in a lot of the areas.

We made our way into the Parkland around the Styal Cotton Mill where there were plentiful routes with mud, cobbles and as we found on our way round - hundreds of steps up and down. This resulted in our running in at nearly 9:30 instead of the usual 9:15 - valuable drinking time, However it was otherwise a good trail and built the required thirst

Tuesday 23rd October

Roger P had had a little problem sorting out a pub for this trail. His first choice was the Pickering Arms in Thelwall - good car park - small pub - but also a quiz night and the Hash and quizzes don't mix. The second choice was the Rams Head in Grappenhall - closed for refurbishment and as the parking at the Parr Arms depended on the car park at the back of the Rams Head this became a no-no. The final choice became the Grappenhall Youth and Community Centre, The Bellhouse Club - and the Manager and his lady wife had no problems about a return of the hash to drink their beer after our trail

So - ably assisted by Simon W and his offspring we headed on a chill evening - nearly full moon -out with a little loop out of the park and up the A50 before picking up the footpath through to Massey Brook. A swift burst along the Bridgewater canal took us to Deans Lane and down into Thelwall where Roger took us into a trundle along the Manchester Ship towards Lymm before looping us back down to Thelwall again along the same path. where he put in a slight false diversion towards the Ferry across the Canal.

After some more use of the Bridgewate it was back to the Club for some well earned beer.

Tuesday 16th October

Tonight's trail was from Nothwich and was set by Ken. Another fine night we set off from the car park by Lidl and went out into the newly pthed area of what was once reclaimed land. Tonight for some reason I was feeling well even though I was driving and therefore not able to partake of the remarkably cheap beer in the Penny Black - a big berrhall of a JD Weatherspoons.

I found I was able to run up hills and not stagger along for 5 minutes afterwards. This was strangely improved by Heather telling me that our wayfaring at the Hash weekend had led us on a Sunday morning run that was a smidgin short of 10 miles rather than the 8 I had felt we had staggered through.

However briefly back to the trail as we had an excellent turnout with Hilary making a third appearance in as many weeks after a long spell away from the Cheshire

Hash Weekend October 13-14th

Oswestry for the third time in a row and the trails set are still a joy to run. The countryside is stunning around here - the footpaths excellent - except the brambles that savaged my thigh.

Day 1

Nick and Heather set us off on a slightly overcast but dry and warmish Saturday afternoon from just up the A5 from Oswestry - a place near Saint Martins.
We parked up next to a snooker hall and off we went. During the early part of the trail we had to walk a bit due to several fields of quite large and quite frisky horses - A livery stable we think.

A canter was then broken into and we passed many pretty sights and a patch of HUGE pumpkins being fattened up for Halloween I suppose. A lot of doubling back and forth was carried out but eventually we ran in after an excellent and interesting trail and then back for a shower many pints and then the dinner (interrupted by hashers vanishing for Rugby updates - France lost by the way....

Allan then described the team set up for the following mornings hangover wayfaring. This involved 3 teams of 4 runners, 1 team of 1 cyclist and 3 teams of 4 walkers.

Day 2

The next morning off we set towards Shrewsbury with map in hand while heather and I roughly divided the ponts into 2 by means of a e-w meridien. Paul J and David L were given the Northern sector and H and I took the south heavy legged and brain dead

It was another grand morning and while H took the map I had control of the pen - important as the maps were printed onto wtaerproof map paper so special ink was needed. We found the first clue easily and also the second. The third 'what were the colour of the two pins at this position' was harder for two reasons.

1. there were many photos of lost cats pinned up all round
2. we were chatting and ran past the gate where Allan had sneakily stuck a black and red drawing pin

Back to the laybye to find our other pair waitng and back to Oswestry and Allan before the deadline expired. - see the following link for results Wayfarer results

Tuesday 9th October

Hardly any report from me as I was suffering the after effects of the dreaded sore throat and temperature going around. As a result I partook of the walk and as I was chatting with Allan most of the way I had no idea where I went. Same as a hash really but slower and shorter.

Tuesday 2nd October

Little did I know the contretemps that would ensue on the hash when I volunteered to help Mr H set the trail on the previous Saturday. Martin had navigated most of the area but had, wisely, brought some clippers in case of brambles - a flame thrower may have been more appropriate in places.

Off we went to the peaceful country sounds of high performance motorbikes at Oulton Park so birdsong Nil. It was however quite bright as we got under way at about 10:20. The setting started well but at the 4th check the finger post was in much better state than the gate but we continued on - it would keep the hash together! We had other unfortunate places - such as the roped up metal gate - which was the footpath entrance - with the electric fence behind it.pdf of map It was on.
A little loop Martin put in had the only animals on the route - two ponies looking interested in what we were doing. We then spent 5 minutes knocking on the doors of the farm and two cottages to say about the hash but no-one was home.

And later the valiant efforts to 1. find the two routes out of one stile (We took the logically simple option and kept to the hedge as even the 1 in 25000 didn't clarify the location.)
and 2. At the next check point we found that we needed to lay about with Elder switches to take down the nettles leading to and at the stile out - we abandoned the off as we would have been there all day

After nearly 4 hours out we staggered into the bar and enjoyed a little Weetwood Blond in front of the South Africa / Canada match.

To the hash itself - 47 in total of which 5 were walkers and 3 were dogs.
Hilary made a welcome return to the Tuesday hash and acquitted herself well. But during the trail all sorts of things happened.

While I was back marking and trundling across a ploughed field (It had been ploughed about an hour before Martin set across it) I noticed a horse box at the side of the road. When I asked others later it seemed that a woman was out looking for a missing pony - We had seen no animals in any field up til then. A little later after Marting cut out the loop where we had seen ponies on Saturday we met a man in a car who complained that we shouldn't be out running at night and in his opinion we must have been trespassing. Peter R mentioned associations with Rights of Way specialists and he drive off muttering.

A little later - where we had previously had to clear back nettles and brambles we met a woman and man who complained unceasingly that we shouldn't be running around in the dark - we had been careening around off the footpaths - we had disturbed her hrses and would give them colic - (remember there were NO animals in any field that the bulk of the hash had been through - the previously noted field had had two hashers checking round it) - and although Peter was placatory they were fairly threatening about the welcome we would get if we came back.

I may be paranoid but with the next event I was beginning to think that there was a phone network in action. We had crossed out of this path and were making our way to the last check when a Land Rover came careening round the corner and the driver then harranged the bulk of the hash. Martin at this point decided that to keep the hash together and back to the pub was better than exposing any stragglers to abuse and we ran in. There had been some talk that a shotgun was visible on one of these events.

Finally - when we got back we found that our five lady walkers - who had done a 3 miler strictly on road - had been approached several times askig what they were doing and where they had been - and even told that they were not allowed to walk on roads at night. Very Roy 'Chubby' Brown (or as he was christened - Royston Vasey)

And the hash - everyone enjoyed it - the pub was excellent - the landlady charming - and the beer and the proper chips very very good. And eveyone had something to talk about.

The post script to this was good too.
Thursday morning I was at home - poorly throat - when the phone rang. It was a gentleman from the county council - The rights of way officer who enquired if I was part of the Cheshire Hash. On admitting said status he said that he had been phoned by an irate farmer from near Eaton and that (paraphrased here) people had been seen running across footpaths at night and that they should be prevented from doing so as he was sure we had no right to do so and we probably disturbed the animals.

The RoW officer had said that he had had to disabuse the farmer as anyone had the right to use a public right of way footpath at any time - on foot - even at, say, 2:30 in the morning and could not be prevented from doing so. (Trespass is a different matter). I thanked him for his information and enquired as to the rights and duties of parties in maintaining footpaths. It appears that the landowner has a duty to maintain footpath access points on their land and that any accidents cause by, for instance, a damaged stile or animals harming reasonable footpath users would be claimable. It is the Council duty to ensure that the footpath network is kept viable - see the Cheshire county Council website Cheshire CC for the correct fuller details

While I was on I reported the problem accesses on the trail and the uncertainty with the route of the footpath where it split. I said what we had done and he concurred that where the waymarking was inadequate or missing then taking the best guess option on the maps to hand was a reasonable choice. He then gave me a bit of information that I thought was fantastic. The Cheshire County council website has

• An excel spreadsheet of the start and end point with OS references of the Definitive RoW
• There is an online map where you can display said footpaths, RUPPs, bridleways and adopted Roads showing the FP numbers
• Zooming in allows you to see where the paths run to about 1 in 5000. The above splitting footpath is actually in the middle of the field.pdf of field
• You can even overlay aerial photos to see what they look like in real.
• There is a webform to report public footpath problems.(not footways or pavements that is another form)

TOP

Tuesday 25th September

Colin and Peter have , over the past couple of years, perfected their signature trail laying skills - Mostly from the Harrington Arms at Gawesworth. Tonight was a return to their standard - after their last effort where no-one got lost and there was only a boring procession of hashers running in from the same direction with the hares among them - tonight was back to the hash milling about in the middle of a field surrounded by cattle while trying to work out where the stile was to get out. This turned out to be two fields away - after going calf deep (for the taller hashers) through what we north-easterners call deep clarts™ ©

As usual the cattle were very interested in a herd of 30 people galloping across what was until then for them a very boring field. From the hashers point of view there is always something alarming about 20 odd tonne of livestock appearing through the light of the full moon to take a closer look.

Having got out of the field there were three problems 1. The hares had disappeared - 2. There were a distinct lack of markings - charitably assumed to have been obliterated by the previous nights pouring rain - and 3. Bridget, who knows the area extremely well, had gone off a different way. After wrong checking it was worked out the general direction (Gawesworth Church steeple being visible) and the hash (or my bit) navigated themselves back to the pub.

I had mistakenly assumed that we were almost last in but bodies kept appearing from the darkness for the next 15 minutes.

Interesting and squelchy.

A small notelet from Dave L

Peter & Colin excelled expectations last night and I think should be given a lifetime achievement award for disfunctional hashes. Itwas everything that we had dreaded and more.
I wasn't aware that there was a global shortage of toilet tissue - I understand it is the Chinese who have cornered the market.

And from the OnOnSec some words of wisdom

THE HARRINGTON ARMS 25TH September 2007

Another trail by the Bodimeade/Horner duo - and we were not disappointed, it was well up to their usual standard! BOTH hares having disappeared by the time most of the hash had become lost in the middle of a field full of hyperactive cattle.

The Harrington Arms is now under new management - major work is obviously going to be undertaken - the scaffolding is up and someone has been having a bit of a go at the internal wiring, but otherwise it remains the same. Mrs Bailey is missing as she now resides in the churchyard just down the road.

Colin and Peter greeted the assembled masses and gave instructions for the evening including the fact that they had laid an additional loop of about 1 mile for the keen front runners. Of course no one was listening properly so everyone was a bit vague about what and where this alternate trail was going to happen. Not long after we had set off (about the third check) the On-On was through the local quarry gates and down the side of the quarry into the first of the quagmires. It was at this point that several hashers disappeared off in the other direction not to be seen again until much later in the pub. Having negotiated several more 'quaggy' fields and crossed Dark Lane we headed off for a long trot along Gawsworth Road towards Macclesfield complete with the fast cars as promised and to the point where the trail split.

As no one seemed to find the checks Peter instructed those who had returned from their abortive trip further along Gawsworth Road to go on that way, then right along Penningtons Lane, right at Congleton Road and then they would be back with the rest of us. Wrong, the extra loop was about 2 miles so they were not seen again until they managed to find their way back to the pub. At about 2 minutes to 9 Tony asked if we would be back at the pub by 9 o'clock - not even if you can run faster than Asafa Powell came the reply.

By now Colin had disappeared off the back, allegedly looking for lost hashers, while Peter continued to cajole and guide the rest of us back to base. Unfortunately he made a slight navigational error and managed to send most of us into the field for a 'short loop' while he, Bridget, Danny the Dog and one or two others continued along the lane expecting the rest of us to appear again in a few hundred yards.
We were in the wrong field along with a now rather agitated herd of cattle who were intent on getting us out of their field, lots of shouting and assorted screams seemed to hype them up even more. Progress was slowed by the boggy nature of the ground and the fact that no one seemed able to find the stile to get out of the field. Once the stile had been located, checking began once again but of course nothing was found as we were where we should not have been. Luckily we had Alan Wardle (almost a local) with us and he decided that the way back to the pub was left and he guided us back in the direction of the village.

Eventually everyone (at least we think so) reappeared back at the pub including both hares. David Taylor was heard to greet several of the hash, asking if they had been out running as he had not seen them on his trail - he had managed to get lost at the third check and had run around for the best part of 90 minutes without finding anyone else.

These two setters may have to be banned from the 'Plank of Wood' award - they are getting too good!!!!

Tuesday 18th September

A report from one who fulfils a role of both Pilot and Rear Gunner for the trail - El Presidente

Marbury Country Park – 18.09.07

“The forecast’s not good for later on Sunday.” Said Tony (White).
“Shall we do it Saturday morning then?” I replied.

So we did.  Saturday morning, there we were, equipped with loo roll and chalk, mixing amongst all the dog walkers with their shovels in Marbury Country Park, about to set off trail laying.  Tony hasn’t done this before, so I’m giving all the positive verbals as we wander to the start line – where we find, the big gate that opens to the now grassed over main drive to the old demolished house is now very firmly padlocked!!   A crisis, before we’ve even started!!  Nothing for it, but to climb over the fence at the side of the gate and hope things improve.  Now on Saturday there were only the two of us.  On Tuesday night there were 47 of us struggling over this bloody fence, so the pack was strung out before we’d reached the first check.  Not a propitious opening.

In fact, with Tony steering the front, and me minding the back, the hares seemed to correctly find the first 8 checks, and we didn’t all gather together until we entered that centre of cultural excellence known as Barnton. 

From there we trundled down on to the Trent & Mersey Canal, and then went right down to the much larger Weaver Navigation.  Now I’ve never hashed this bit of country before.  Although it’s probably at least 15 years since I researched the hashing possibilities, and found the footpaths on the map, impassable on the ground.  However, a recent pleasant stroll down the Trent & Mersey with my wife revealed that what was blocked is now unblocked.  That reminds me, I must get a plumber to come and sort that occasionally overflowing cistern.

So, this bit of tonight’s epic was new to me, and seemingly to many others.  There was a little piece of cartographic confusion where straight was called on down the side of the Weaver, at the same time as Rob Baddeley correctly called on left away from the canal and up the hill!  This faux pas seemed to be caused by some confusion between the two Davids (Lever and Taylor) who were at the sharp end at the time.  Neither actually admitted responsibility for the bogus “On On”, but what an opportunity this navigational dysfunction gave to your scribe to engage in one of his favourite Hashing activities, namely bellowing continuously at 105 decibels at his hashing colleagues.  The excuse being they were not doing what they should have been.  You wouldn’t get away with that at school anymore!

Anyway, the wrong ones were recovered, and eventually all were safely returned to base.  Mr Hack seemed to have an excellent evening battling with the trail, commenting to me afterwards, “ When I choose a road, you’d chosen the canal.  Then I’d choose the canal, and we’d be on the bloody road!”  He wasn’t alone.  But all the extra sweat was well worth it, when you find your chosen pub serves real ale at £1.62 a pint!  So you could have 3 pints and 14p change!  Not that change was allowed, as a blizzard of crisp packets swept through the pub about 10 p.m. 

So a good night seemed to be had by most.  The map link is as follows, and calories consumed were 1,089. http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/marbury/534763496

Tuesday 11th September

This was Steve A (Alias Carthief)'s trail in Delamere. He marked it with copious amounts of flour in an eco-friendly way but in the style of 'forin' hashes.

He carefully gathered us together and explained the marks - 4 blobs for on big flour circle for check - CB7 meaning checkback 7 - and just before we started with a remark from Eleanor 'What was that - I wasn't listening!' the trail got underway with Dave Arthur striking first gold. Come the second check I twisted my knee and that was the end of the trail for me till all returned about 9:15

So here follows a report from Eleanor who was obviously paying attention during the trail.

'A Mother's Tale'.

When my daughter suggested she should come hashing with me, after a four year absence from any sort of running, I was initially cautious.  'Running's hard work, you know, Nicola, and trying to run 6 miles without any training isn't a good idea, you need to build up to it slowly'.  Her younger brother also didn't think it was a good idea.  'She just likes the idea of hashing, she won't like the reality.  She'll be in tears within two miles, you know what she's like, and she'll whinge the whole way round'.

But then I looked on the website and realised the hash was in Delamere Forest and thought that will be fine for her: nice gentle running on soft pine needles; lots of checks (there are always lots of checks on hashes in Delamere Forest); and the car never far away if she gets tired.  'Anyway' she said, to reassure me, 'I ran to the blue bridge and back last week' (which is exactly one mile) 'and Delamere Forest is flat, isn't it?'

And so we arrived at Barnbridge Gates, with Ken, Nicola's boyfriend Mike, and of course Milly, in tow. I knew that I'd need to keep a close eye on both Milly and Nicola, but Mike was an unknown quantity.

At the massed start Steve explained that this wasn't a normal hash: he had distributed 2000kg of desiccated coconut around the route using an obscure set of symbols only known to the indigenous tribes of Papua New Guinea, which involved various spots, crosses, lines and dodecahedrons.  Unfortunately I wasn't listening when he explained all this (sorry Steve but we girls do need to catch up on the gossip) so I may have misrepresented some of the details here, apologies.

And we were off, and that was the last Nicola and I saw of boyfriend Mike ' who rather unwisely sprinted off with Rob Stephenson, Dave Taylor, Nicky et al, not to be seen again till we returned to the car park an hour and a half later.  Clearly I needn't have worried about Mike's running ability but unfortunately his failure to appear again did worry Nicola, who spent the next hour in as state of intense anxiety on the basis that he had clearly been abducted by the wicked witch and was being fattened up somewhere in a little house in the middle of the forest with only the witch (and of course Hansel and Gretel) for company. Editors Note - Definately Gretel - As Brian Glover's previous version of a hash name was before he became Grutel - he got lost in Delamere with another hasher from Wirral and Chester Hash so they were named Hansel and Gretel

As for Nicola, well the hash started perfectly for a beginner.  Three miles of running without a stop!   And all uphill, of course - very flat, Delamere Forest is, NOT.   She bounced along for the first mile; we lost contact with the back of the hash in the second mile; and in the third mile, she resorted to twenty paces walking then twenty paces running.  At one stage we saw the walkers, and Nicola was just about to suggest she abandoned and joined them, when she remembered the mockery of her younger brother, and realised that her credibility would be at stake if she aborted now.  So she bravely continued, encouraged by her mother's favourite Positive Mental Attitude quotes.  Come on Nicola, remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  Pain is temporary, quitting is forever.  Come on now, we're going uphill, let's try fairy steps.  Don't worry the pack will be just round the next bend.  Come on Nicola, remember, it's all about mind over matter.  And so on.

And to her credit she kept going - and sure enough, as I had promised her there would be, there was the hash just round the corner.  The next three miles were much easier, with lots more stops, gentle banter and even serious conversation, and the magical experience of the forest at night, the trees bathed in moonlight, owls hooting in the distance, and that fragrant smell of pine.

Half an hour later, just as Nicola thought she couldn't go any further, with her legs feeling heavier and her spirit failing - there was that sight that welcomes weary hashers the world over - the lights of the car park, and the knowledge that the pub is not that far away.  And of course, the joyful reunion with the boyfriend, who had somehow survived his abduction by the witch, and even more surprisingly had survived the much more traumatic experience of running off the front of the hash in such exalted company.  Indeed he even said he had enjoyed himself and would come again.

And finally, for Nicola and Mike then came the final lesson of the hash: that after the pain comes the pleasure, and the satisfaction of knowing that the drinks and the crisps at the Royal Abbey Arms were indeed VERY well deserved.

Tuesday 4th September

A delayed report on John Seymour and Mike Eden's hash from the Dog

This was another excellent evening and effectively the last trail of the year you could get round with minimal turning on of a torch
We were graced by the presence of the landlord who had been persuaded that this would be excellent training for his entry for the Great North run and that we would pass over the remains of the kitty for his charity fund - East Cheshire Hospice.

For a change we turned right out of the pub car park - A lot easier than Rob S's trail previously as there were no longer any road works - under the view of the pub clientele who still need a ciggie fix and so were at the outside tables. The trail was also the last one for a while for Rachel who has womanfully continued hashing through the first two trimesters but felt that the passenger was getting a bit of a burden

Even though she did what I did towards the end and tripped on a big hole in a field she came to no harm - just as well as how she would have explained 'I was alright when I limboed under the electric fence and then climbed over the gate and a fence and ran the other five and a half miles!' Good luck in January!

However we all returned to the pub in fine fettle where alcohol and crisps were forthcoming and the trail was celebrated

TOP

Tuesday 28th August

For Brian Glover and Myself tonight was the start of a tri-hashlon. As you can see from the name probably a stupid idea even for two such athletes as ourselves.

Apart from running out with Cheshire on a weekly basis - during the summer we go out with the monthly - last Wednesday - Warrington Wednesday Hash. But Mike Eden had mentioned that some Amancil (Portugal) hashers were coming over to have a hash in Hoylake for the mother of one of their number as she had turned 100. This was to take place at 9:30 on the Wednesday morning.

So off we went with Daniel's gentle Bollington warm-up. 5.5 miles but plenty of up and down. He had had to set it so he could bike it as his Achilles is still giving him gyp. After a small lead out from the Vale we set off along the byways of Bollington - some of it bringing back painful memories to El Presidente as we passes the place he came a cropper a while ago.

Daniel and Andy - giving another fine assist - set us a challenge with cheeky little loops back to not quite cross earlier parts of the trail. They also decided to just brush close to White Nancy without reaching the top but there was a small revolt led by Dave A who demanded that they go to the top. Others of the pack however used the argument that it was not on trail to continue on and allow the hillmen to get their fix (Brian G among them as he had not been to the top before)

The trail then dropped down to pick up the canal and then along the Viaduct over the town to see the welcome On-In markings where we dropped down to the cars.
Excellent Trail

The next morning Brian kindly picked me up at 8:15 for our trip to Hoylake. Although we left in bright sunshine the Wirral was dull , overcast and with a chill wind coming off the estuary. We were greeted by a man with a pole sticking out the top of his car - A BBC Radio Merseyside reporter come to interview the birthday star. However for some reason he was convinced that the trail was set in flowers rather than flour.

My aching knees got me round to the beerstop and then back to the start for the down-downs - interesting chalk markings and a good turn-out of over 30.

The third trail of the day was from the Red Lion at Moore set by Hilary and took place on the best part of the day. The evening was bright, sunny and warm and although she was setting close to 6 miles she did a stitch - up to shorten it when we met the field with bullocks and a large bull. Sid and AP - who had red t shirts had reached the other end of the field by the time the rest of the hash reached the footpath bear the Ring-oBells at Daresbury. At that point two very frisky beasts galloped up to see what we were after and with a bit of arm waving from the rest of us Hilary chased them back. Then we were noticed by the bull. Fairly big he was - though even small bulls are a bit weighty and as he was picking up to a quick amble we decided it would be better to go round and meet the other two at the other side.

This broke a bit of trail but Hilary moved us through the woods near the labs until we mended the loop. Another good trail and excellent beer (nice Corned beef hash as well).

So three hashes in 24 hrs followed by a couple of days of oooh ouch bugger-it whenever I tried to get up from sitting down.

Tuesday 21st August

For tonight we were treated to a trail from the Leigh Arms at Acton Bridge by Roy and Derek. There were 55 runners and walkers and 4 dogs on trail. Helen S had managed to coincide with the off and Alison made her second appearance - it gets to be a habit..

Though I for one didn't know where the trail went as I checked wrong on the first and coming back through the car park I saw Mike and Pam lying under their car. It couldn't have ben that bad surely. But no. Mike had managed to drop his key behind his front wheel and was trying to find it. Unfortunately it wasn't one of these metal key things but one of the electronic gubbins's and i think he said - grey.

So I stopped briefly to help furtle about with my apelike appendages - groping around the steering rack and stuff but no joy. Off I went after the pack who were out of sight.

Aha I thought - I'll leg it down the side of the river - where I thought they had gone and if I had it slightly wrong I would go up to the footbridges and then cut up to the canal - because they were BOUND to go along that. Completely wrong.

As a result I ended up at Dutton area and had a jolly little trail of about 4 miles by myself before I got back at about 8:50. Fortunately I was driving so I could get changed. Unfortunately I was driving so the extra time was spent making my one pint of Hartleys (excellent) last a Loooong time.

The young ladies were primed so that about 9:15 they had pulled 20 pints of Robbies - for the thirsty hashers.

As to Mike and Pam they found the hash and Brooke had managed to retrieve the key from where it has hidden in the steering gear.

And one from Allan

Leigh Arms, Acton Bridge –21.08.07

Tonight was the 13th time the Hash has visited the Leigh Arms at Acton Bridge, so by now you’d have thought that, we’d know how to get there.  Well, dear reader, you’d be wrong!  Much discussion occurred within our little car school about the best route.  I was for the Motorway route, whilst others insisted that was the longest route.  It probably is in miles, but it’s not in minutes. So a true British compromise was agreed.  Out one way, back the other, and we’d time each route.  Except of course, once we’d each had a couple of scoops, which led to some animated homeward bound conversation, none of us bothered to clock watch on the way back. So no doubt in a few months, we’ll be having the same conversation as we wend our way back to Acton Bridge.

In charge of the steering tonight were Roy and Derek, whose lastmasterpiece was in February from Hatton, where a modest contretemps with a local farmer, made an initially planned long trail, eventually suitable for a Marine training run, as the local artisan insisted where Roy & Derek were taking us was not a public right of way.  So a bit of fresh planning on the hoof so to speak had to be carried out.  The following link is my best guess at the route the pack actually ended up doing, and it can be no more than a guess, as I was one of a few that did a bit of a short cut towards the end! This one is a bit long!
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/hatton/629231939

But tonight, all was wonderful!  There was a seven-way check in the pub car park at the start, which didn’t get us off to a speedy start. But after that everything seemed to work fine, except for the Webmeister who seems to have tried to check all these initial 7 options, and not found anything!

Roy and Derek included some long cross country bits, but hell, I need the work.  There we were back at the pub by 9.15, just as the many walkers also returned.  Excellent logistics.  Karen’s Mum and Dad returned as promised for their 3rd appearance, and apparently, they are not returning to Spain until next month, so further visits are planned.  Karen was absent, and her daughter Libby said her Mum was still on holiday in Minorca.  Indeed, one or two regulars were absent.  The Thistletons were still boating off Abersoch, Rob Stephenson was away at some unspecified holiday haunt and Tony Ellis was away on Granddad duty!  Apparently, when his grand children are visiting he’s not allowed out to play!  So he missed an opportunity to close the gap in “the mostest runner” stakes on Nick to 7, whilst allowing Tony Higgins to slip one closer to him.  Tony is now only 13 behind Tony!

Even after allowing for all these absence notes, 59 ticks went into the book.  This is the second highest attendance ever, after Roger Turner’s Barbecue Hash of last summer, when a mighty 65 names went in the book.  Clearly, the Hash had forgiven Roy and Derek for the Hatton Arms run, or more likely they had forgotten all about it.

Next week’s trail might be interesting.  Daniel O’Brien is at the controls.  He hasn’t been hashing since early May, and I think the Webmeister reckoned that Daniels’s dodgy Achilles, remains sufficiently dodgy that he can’t run.  Apparently, Daniel is going to set the trail using his mountain bike!   Another Cheshire Hash first?

Tonight’s trail was as follows,
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/acton-bridge/1053746224
and Calorie Man reckons he burned off 990 calories.  At the Hatton Arms he consumed 1,336!

And a mail from Paul Fairbrother in the antipodes or away with the Kiwis

YET ANOTHER FANTASTIC BEER INJUICED EVENING WITH THE MENS HASH IN WELLINGTON. JOKES, THE CIRCLES AND VAST AMOUNTS OF LIQUID REFRESHMENTS MADE THIS YET ANOTHER ENJOYABLE EVENING. FINES FROM THE FLOOR, SEVERAL DOWN DOWNS AND PRICK OF THE WEEK ADD TO THE BONUS. I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING THE CHESHIRE HASH PARTY AT THE INTERHASH IN PERTH AND SHARING THESE EXPERIENCES. I PLAN TO RETURN TO THE UK FOR A BREIF 4 WEEK BREAK IN JUNE 2008. ON ON CHESHIRE HASH MANY REGARDS
PAULJAM33@HOTMAIL.COM PAUL FAIRBROTHER

Tuesday 14th August

The first sighting of the torch tonight as it was slightly overcast towards the end of the trail and John S was seen to light up. on the last downhill stretch

Allan was very quick off the mark with this report so here goes

Castle Inn, Congleton - 14.08.07

'We'll pick you up about five to seven' said Nick. 'Five to seven' I exclaimed, 'We'll be very early at the pub!' 'Ah, it's all to do with the car parking' replied Nick, as he hung up the phone and returned to his evening butty. And early we were. It was only 20 past 7 when we rolled into the Castle Inn car park. But we weren't the first. Roy Kemsley was quietly dozing in his motor, whilst Cliff was quietly dictating/phoning in his car, with his steering wheel covered with what looked like closely typed work type paperwork.

The parking problem the On Sec explained was to do with the pubs quiz night.Apparently, after lengthy negotiation and a quick consult with the Arbitration Service, it was agreed between the landlord and Heather, that the Hash could use the pubs lower car park, whilst the quizzers could have the upper one. Our surplus cars could then park on Honest John's never knowingly under priced second hand car sales forecourt opposite the boozer. The On Sec did traffic warden type duties at the car park entrance, a good job really, because one or two Hashers commented that it would have been very easy to drive past the Castle Inn as it is set back off the main road.

It's very unusual for me to be able to observe Hash behaviour before the off, as I'm usually in a car that is one of the last to arrive. It's really quite interesting. As more cars arrive, the Hashers who were all ready to run seemed initially to be virtually oblivious of their late arriving colleagues. When they did notice them, then much well intentioned arm waving and verbal guidance was given, to those who inevitably are now faced with the problem of getting their BMW 5 series in a parking space only really suitable for a Ford Ka. Comments along the lines of 'God, that car looks abandoned not parked' don't always help the now rather harassed late arrival get themselves sorted before the evening's festivities. The Castle Inn is south east of Congleton, and virtually everyone had to travel some distance to get there. Steve Argles and Ian Blakeborough both arrived from the western fringes of Cheshire, which is a good effort particularly as they spent most of their time getting their feet s****y, whilst running in Staffordshire! Libby McGibbon and Jenny Worth discovered it takes less time to Eurostar from London to Paris, than it takes to Clio from Marple Bridge to Congleton, via Hazel Grove, Poynton, Prestbury and Macclesfield.

I was told that before the off Roger Turner appeared looking like an Apiarist. I had to look that word up, and check the spelling was correct; to make sure that it was suitable for use in this report, as my knowledge of English hadn't previously stretched to include the Latin origin of the word for a beekeeper. Being a good Boy Scout, Roger clearly felt he should 'Be Prepared' for a possible repeat of last week's rather prickly evening. Before we set off Nick promised undulations, just under 6 miles, and a fair bit of road running towards the end. Apparently the proposed trail had had to be modified to avoid a completely overgrown public footpath which had been left covered a foot deep in slurry by the farmer, so that the trail layers felt even Martin would have baulked at wading through.

And so off and up we went, and effectively round in a big circle. This was not a trail with any obvious neat short cuts!
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/congleton/729325100
With the evening light now rapidly fading, and the weather threatening, some of the early parts of the trail that were along uphill footpaths surrounded by foliage were distinctly dismal. No one had brought a torch, but fortunately the later parts of our ordeal were all out in the open, and the rain that did fall landed on the pub car park whilst we were sweating a couple of miles away. Whilst scurrying along the edge of Biddulph Park, we were high enough to see all across the Cheshire Plain, except that we couldn't because of the precipitation. Messrs. Arthur, Wyatt and Moorhouse had an even better view of the nearly non existent view, because through a minor cartographic error, they found themselves right on top of the ridge looking down on their less navigationally challenged brethren. A quick mountain goat impression brought them back down to their colleagues.

A couple of weeks ago Paul Jackson had an unexpected encounter with a llama. This week, he's galloping along, suddenly sees a couple of his now favourite animals in a field on the right, communing with a giraffe! With the gloaming advancing, it took a stride or three for him to realise that the giraffe was wood, and not flesh and hide. None the less, it was a little surprising. Later on, someone reckoned they'd seen a hardwood lion and tiger in the field as well. A low maintenance zoo perhaps.

Eventually at a prompt 21.10 the sanctuary of the pub car park appeared out of the murk. One advantage of the bottom Castle pub car park was the availability of tables and chairs to change on. Having just hauled my trousers up whilst standing on the handy table, I suddenly discovered these strides were equipped with a posh belt, that they were most certainly not endowed with when I left base camp. Oops, it turned out I was warming Nick's trousers. In the dark, there'd been a fashion confusion.

Continuing the clothing these, it later turned out that Roger Pidcock and Tony Ellis, had managed to acquire white stripes across the seat of their trousers. Close inspection (an unpleasant thought), revealed that the stripes were paint. Apparently, they'd both sat on a windowsill of the pub before going for a drink. Why was not explained, but clearly the sill suffered from the lack of a 'Wet Paint' sign. Tony grilled the landlord about the problem, and extracted a promise of costs to meet any damages, and much more attractively a bottle of wine for himself and Roger. Oh, and he got a free dishcloth to put on the car seat before the drive home, to ensure the On Sec's Lexus remained in virginal condition. He must have made a significant profit on the evening.

Tuesday 7th August

Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself. August already and closing in on the carrying of torches again.
This run was from David Lever and Rob Baddeley (Walk by Jenny L) from the White Barn at Cuddington. Another warm evening saw a biggish running pack and a substantial walking group again boosted by a big turn-out from Karen's family. Libby was running again with her mother but the others settled for walking

Off we went up the main road before swiftlyheading off down smaller roads. To Martin's disappointment it was substantially dry underfoot but plenty of off road to make up for it.

One particularly unexpected, and unwelcome, set of hash participants, however, was a swarm of bees/wasps which we ran through while tracking down a footpath - particularly unwelcome to Karen as she was stung on the ear and has a tendency to swell up in reaction. At one point the hash ground to a halt which resulted in Keith M being stung 13 times. Several others were also attacked resulting in the rough total of about 35 stings inflicted. Karen fortunately didn't react quite as much as she had feared.

This was an otherwise excellent trail in a reasonably located put but unfortunately with mostly rubbish beer

And from El Presidente

White Barn, Cuddington - 07.08.07

Recently, a few current and ex Hashers were gathered in a local hostelry for a quick tincture or two, and a thoroughly good evening was had by all. Afterwards, I worked out our main topics of conversation had been, how visiting grandchildren interfered with Hashing, the implications of an oncoming heart operation, the lack of enthusiasm for a stag night, and the benefits of government grants to be had when insulating our houses.

10 or 15 years ago, the main subjects, in no order of priority would have been women, football, the good business deals we'd recently done, and cars, in particular how much brake horse power one had at the disposal of one's right foot! Clearly, that insidious Latin bastard Anno Domini has had a serious effect on us. In a year or so, we'll probably be moaning about the rising price of Complan. One could get quite fed up, but then it's Tuesday night at the White Barn, and reality returns.

Karen's father had carried out his threat of last week, to come walking again, and at the end of the evening his wife came up to me to apologise for the fact that next week they have to give a pre-booked holiday priority over the Hash, but I wasn't too worry as they'd be back with us in a fortnight! She then asked if she and her husband could have a tick if they went walking next Tuesday. I explained that on occasions when groups of Cheshire Hashers have been away from base camp, one of them has set a proper trail on a Tuesday night that the others have then run, and given that enthusiasm, ticks have been awarded. 'Shame' she said, but went home out of the pub muttering something about the whole family being away together...... Now Karen, it's not my fault if your Mum has you tying loo roll on strange hedgerows on holiday.

And so to this evening's constitutional. Even before we arrived at the pub, I'd been E Mailed full details of the Lever/Baddeley route march, including mileage, number of checks, number of possible routes at the checks, and also the calorie count! By the end of the trail, further data collection was being suggested, but more of that in 6 miles time. The White Barn offers one of the best Hashing areas in Cheshire, with loads of paths both brown and tarmac, together with roads, housing estates, woodland, and the site of an unsolved murder. All of these possibilities were delivered tonight, and all no more than a mile from the pub. Early on the trail layers managed to get us running through the car park of the Blue Cap, the other well used Hash pub in the village. They even had a check at the entrance to the Blue Cap car park. Surprisingly, there was hardly a ripple of complaint about running past a nice pub without stopping. 10 or 15 years ago, there would have been vociferous moaning, but I suspect some of us now don't have any spare breath for whingeing.

A quick tour of Kennel Wood, and the new Jones (no relation) housing estate, brought us to the A49, and the very narrow footpath down to the western end of the Whitegate Way, which was an old railway line connecting Winsford to the Chester – Manchester line. Here we had problems. Initially, the speedsters checked correctly right, but couldn't find anything so did a quick 180, and tore off wrongly to the left. The rest of the pack arrived at the Whitegate Way, where Karen was stung by some unspecified insect. Apparently. Karen reacts badly to this type of assault, so her daughter Libby got quite anxious, but then was herself stung, so Karen was getting worried about Libby

So a whole group of worried Hashers gathered round the stricken pair, whence the local wildlife then couldn't believe its luck, and promptly started stinging all these unsuspecting stationary human targets, that had disturbed whatever activities they'd been happily engaged in. Keith Mabbott got caught between the Hashers actually on the Whitegate Way blocking his progress over the stile, and those rushing up behind who'd gone wrong at the previous check. He could do nothing as breakfast, lunch and dinner was made of his torso. In the car park afterwards, the Webmeister counted 13 stings on those parts of his anatomy that Keith was prepared to reveal. Roger Turner and the Webmeister both suggested a new 'Stinger' category for the Hash records. A provisional total of 35 was apparently reckoned to be a pretty accurate figure. This isn't a category that's going to be added to the records.

Eventually, the Hash progressed onwards, and a final loop was negotiated that apparently Rob B insisted on including as his main contribution to the route planning. The extra little bit meant the pub car park was reached at 10 past 9, after 5.95 miles according to Map My Run,
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/cuddington/697612847
or 6.06 miles according to Dave Lever, a discrepancy of less than 2%. An excellent trail, with nobody lost, and in the end those brought down by the insect world, seemed to have recovered sufficiently to have a drink before the journey home. Marin Burke was one of few folk not altogether impressed with the John Smiths ale being served, and I confess it's not my favourite beer. However, its quality didn't seem to interfere with the exercise of the right arm. Rubbish ale is better than none after 6 miles.

TOP

Tuesday 31st July

Allans report from Jackson's Boat, Sale 31.07.07

Possibly inspired by last week's impromptu slip sliding activities in the Willy Moor Lock, Brian Burgess and Tony Higgins decided that this evening's festivities would be round Sale Water Park, starting from the Jackson's Boat pub. We ran from here at the end of January, but our two veteran trail layers made use of areas of the local environs that we didn't trample down some months ago, and didn't allow Dr. Arthur the opportunity to lead the Hash astray into any more unusual aquatic activities.

At the start, there seemed to be hundreds of runners scurrying around the muddy pub car park. In fact, it turned out there must have been at least three of four other groups doing their constitutionals up and down the Mersey, one lot being dressed in Army camouflage! Having said that, there still seemed to be a lot of unknown faces. It turned out that four of these new folk, were a Kathmandu Hasher on a one off visit, complete with his family and Mother in Law. By one of those strange co-incidences that Life occasionally produces, the trail went past the back garden of the house our visitor lived in for the first 18 years of his life!

In addition to this family, three of whom walked, Karen had brought not only daughter Libby, but husband Steve, dog Dylan, and her Mother and Father, the last two getting a few days relief from the 35+ degrees Centigrade that was melting the roof off their home in Spain. This family gathering with the exception of Karen and Libby all walked, boosting the number of walkers to what I suspect is a record number of 18! I also suspect that Karen's Dad at 82 may well be the oldest person to risk life and bank account associating with the Cheshire Hash. So appalled was he by this evening's activities, he's threatened to come next week!

Your scribe got castigated this evening, by one or three of those Hashers who had a gentle upbringing, for verbally assisting the trail layers in correcting the navigational confusion exercised by some of the front runners. Yes folks, I know I've a big mouth, but occasionally it does have a modestly practical purpose. And so round and round the Water Park we paddled, under bridges, over triple stiles with 18 inch high wooden panels presumably to keep the dreaded motor bikes out, then on round barbed wire ringed concrete blockhouses, with no apparent purpose, into rural cul de sacs, and eventually to everyone's complete surprise there was the bridge to the pub! And all by just before 9!

We were so much earlier than last week, that this evening some Hashers were off home having downed the regulation 4 units of alcohol saying to their colleagues, 'Cheers, see you next week!' at a time much earlier than they managed to get into the bar at the Willy Moor Lock 7 days ago! Nonetheless, Ian Blakeborough seems happy enough with last week's events, to have started preliminary planning on his next International foray.

Tonight's route is roughly as follows. I say roughly, as the satellite pictures of Sale Water Park were taken in the summer, when the trees had full foliage, so trail marking has had a wee bit of guesswork involved. http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/sale/674340565

Tuesday 24th July

Tonight saw my return to the running part of the hash having been off for sevearl weeks both on holiday and also due to trapped nerve affecting my arm. - <<i>just couldn't cope with the drinking . Well not really!

Tonight Ian promised a trail at the darkest regions of Cheshire - where it abuts Shropshire and Wales and not Stafordshire and Derbyshire. The pub was the Willey Moor Lock sat beside the Llangollen Canal where it coincides with the Sandstone trail about 3 miles to the North of Whitchurch - but still in Cheshire....

The hash was quite unusual - as most of the hashers felt uncertain of the road/traffic/weather and had set out early and there was a large proportion , including Roger T, who assembled 15 minutes before the off. As is the case in these months of holidays - the turnout was not at it's highest with 33 people and 4 4-footed hashers in attendance though Cat had made her way across as had Bridget from the Macc area.

After a brief intro - explaining that there was a muster - two unusual animals - and some trail marking with mini Welsh Flags - the trail went off across the lock past the pub and away across the fields as the sun burst out. It didn't make the underfoot any drier though.
Soon into the trail we came across unusual beast number one - a curious alpaca who was obviously interested in what was happening.

So far so good - we remained upright and travelling on and my back and shoulder felt comfortable in motion for the first time in 5 weeks. There were plenty of multiway checks to keep us together as the way got damper until we reached a row of flags hung between the trees where Ian had marked the entry into Wales. After a brief photo opportunity for John S we checked and offed across more fields towards a thicket where the trail slowed. An on-on from Carthief was found to lead us towards a quickly running ford fortunatelt the other 'correct' route was called which involved a small footbridge.

Soon after this we were directed to look at the other exotic 'animal' which was a sculpture on the lawn of a house of a boy/imp on the back of a crocodile (Peter Pan? tick-tock tick-tock)
Things then started to get muddier as we moved first along the canal and then when we thought it was going to be a simple run-in off upm through a filed where I proceded to sink up to my knees and Eleanor (who was laughing her socks off) and Brooke hauled me ot while I managed to retain my shoes.

Soon after we ran on-inn to the pub. Here, while I was contemplating cleaning my shoes in the canal lock overflow sluice, Dave A started a trend.

It appears he was cleaning himself off therein when he fell over and bodyslid all the way to the bottom part of the lock. Ian and Dave then went and repeated this much to everyones amusement to be followed by Dave's s-i-l and the Cat did the same. These were followed by others including Eleanor, Bridget and Cat again.

Slightly long for my unexecised body but an excellent trail good pub and a lot of laughing. Pity Martin missed it - especially as even though we were very early to the pub (7:20) we had got stuck behind a horsebox and a Combine Harvester.

Allan also has his broadcast

Willey Moor Lock, Nr.Whitchurch 24.07.07

• 'Where's Mr Hack tonight?' enquired Dave Taylor, 'He'd have loved all this muck and mayhem.'
• 'Mozambique!' replied the Webmeister, happily returned after a few weeks off with a pain in the neck. 'No! That's not right.' continued Max. 'He's gone to some island off South America.'
• 'The Falklands?' suggested Mr Taylor, not too seriously.
• 'No, it begins with an M.' said Max totally seriously.

Various suggestions were made, many of which are unsuitable for publication. Anyway, there was general agreement that tonight's Hash offering involving three counties and two countries, would indeed have been greeted with enormous enthusiasm by the absent Mr Hack, particularly as it wouldn't have been his turn to drive! 6 ½ miles of muck and 3 pints of real ale, one of those being offered by the Willey Moor having an alcoholic content of 5.9%, would have left Martin a happy happy Hasher.

This being the first Tuesday of the school summer holidays, Martin and a few other regulars were absent, but a considerable contingent from Marple and Macclesfield arrived for the entertainment. Some of them must have started off before the 6 o'clock news finished! Well done them. Steve Argles who lives on the sunset side of Cheshire often drives big distances to the more mountainous east of the county for a Hash. I think his record is a 100 mile round trip to Marple Bridge on a night when he was overcome with hashing enthusiasm. This evening the highlanders travelled the other way. Hopefully, they have now all got back home safe!

One of the oddities of this evening's travelling was everyone's early arrival. Being undiscovered country it seems everyone decided to make absolutely sure they weren't late. We even had the sight of Roger Turner limbering 15 minutes before the off! Even Dave Taylor was changed and ready by 19.45. The only laggard seemed to be John Moorhouse, who arrived just before the tapes went up, and he was slightly worried as his motor was telling him it would only take him another 2 miles before he'd be walking! At the end of the evening he was to just make the nearest petrol station before it closed.

Anyway, tonight was Ian Blakeborough's long promised international trail, from the very bottom left hand corner of Cheshire, with John Seymour providing Ian with back up muscle. Some unusual instructions were given before the off, including references not to cross various roads, to beware of 'unusual' animals, and to look out for miniature Welsh flags on cocktail sticks as route markers for the foreign bit of the trail. You really don't get that every week. A 6-½ mile route with plenty of sticky footpaths were promised. Ian and John were to deliver!

A 7-way check from the car park launched proceedings. As was to prove a repetitive pattern, the correct route was into the fields. It was to be over a mile and 7 checks before tarmac was spotted again. 3 checks in, and Paul Jackson was leading. He's recently had his eyes done, which means he can now actually see what he's putting his feet in! So up to a 5-barred gate roars Paul, but there's no chalk marks. He stops to think, and hears someone panting up behind him, and turns to find himself nose to nose with a llama! He'd not noticed the animal in the field next to him as he ran up this lane, but the llama had certainly seen him. And 'No' is the answer to the query someone posed in the pub after they'd had a couple of scoops, I didn't give the llama a tick.

And so on we went to some road, and the first muster, as Ian was a bit worried we'd get strung out tonight. A bit of a delay. At the second muster, Brian Burgess leant on a rather rickety looking metal gate, which promptly gave way under him. We were to learn later that when Mr Seymour arrived at said gate, it was in such a parlous condition, he had to draw on his half forgotten second year metal working skills to leave it at least partly vertical!

And then there were the horses! Having just admired someone's rather unusual front garden ornament, a large metallic crocodile, we trundled over a stile to find two very frisky thoroughbreds getting quite excited at the prospect of some unexpected hashing. Mike Eden and I quietly traversed their field, then turned to watch about 20 of the pack all trying to achieve the security of the centre of their little group. Impossible in practical terms of course, but very funny to the detached observer. As the two horses circled erratically but speedily round this beleaguered group, a loud 'Sit!' could be heard from the middle of this unhappy band. 'Someone's being a tad optimistic!' noted Mike, and the horses refused to respond. 'Obviously, they only speak Welsh.' Mike continued.

And 2 checks later we were indeed in Wales. Our trail layers had made it completely impossible to miss the border. Somehow they had shinned up a couple of trees either side of this narrow lane, to erect a banner consisting of a dozen or so Welsh flags. Inevitably, pictures had to be taken of this Cheshire Hash first. More delays! Eventually, off we went again looking and finding the cocktail sticks marking the correct route. There's one thing about Welsh mud. It's just the same as English mud.

Eventually, a canal was reached. Was this the same one the pub was on? The pack thought so, and smartly set off north back to base. However, there was to be a final twist. The trail went left off the canal for a final 5 checks. Somewhere here, Pam Eden found herself stranded in the goo, but was gallantly sucked out by some helpful Hashers. Eventually, the trail layers relented and we were back to the pub at 21.40!

As I struggled up onto the towpath for the last 25 yards before the sanity of the car park, I heard Much Splashing in the Canal. A moment's panic ensued, but I was assured by two land bound Hashers, that it was only Paul Jackson washing off the worst of the evenings trail. And then.....more aquatics!

The Willey Moor pub is located right next to a canal lock of the same name. As most of us will have observed, we have had a modicum of moisture over the last few weeks. Sufficient to mean that the overflow channel down the side of the lock was flowing very briskly. This free laundering service for trainers was not to be missed by the Hash. Unfortunately, Dave Arthur did miss! His footing, and down the slippery slope he went. Having recovered his equilibrium, he then decided that this water flooded slope would make a excellent slide, and slide he did. Before you could say, '20 pints please landlord', down the slope went half the Hash, much to the consternation but amusement of a couple of pub locals who were trying to amble off home, after a quiet couple of pints in the pub.

Down the slope went Cat, to discover she was a bit stuck when she got to the bottom. Dave's son in law Keith Mabbott who runs with us when his defence of the realm activities allow him, slid to her rescue, only to discover that on arrival at the stranded maiden, he was half bereft of his shorts. Just too late Mr Seymour arrived with his camera, but has the evidence of much of these by now nocturnal activities, that I'm sure the Webmeister will have on the website for the whole galaxy to see within a day or so!

Honestly, we did eventually get in the pub, and a very pleasant evening was concluded. It was an excellent and very unusual evening, and Ian is to be congratulated for all his efforts for International Hashing! The map route is (I think) as follows, and looks almost precisely the 6 ½ mile length we were promised.
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/whitchurch/640917381

Tuesday 17th July

In these days of green issues and recycling 'El Presidente' manages to use almost the sam paragraph at the start of this week's report as in last week.

Church Inn, Mobberley 17.07.07

Where to start? Probably best to get the apology done first. Owing to a devilish combination involving an ancient fridge-freezer from the Victorian era, a dodgy hip, a completely unexpected call to be the back marker, together with a reluctance to use my reading glasses, meant it was my fault that a quarter of those brave souls who set out on last week's Hash, went completely wrong. Tonight, a different story emerged, ending in a different sort of apology for a Hash of almost unblemished personal success!

This week, there were Rob and Cliff once AGAIN in charge of the evening's festivities. Apparently, the plans for tonight were drawn up by Paul Jackson, who owing to the fact that he still has to work to keep the Halifax off his back, couldn't actually come to the Church, but left his able bodied assistants Rob and Cliff in charge. 5 ½ miles was the distance announced Cliff. 'They bloody said that about last week!' said a slightly pessimistic soul.

After the normal solo canine choral from Bob the dog at the start, as usual half drowning out the requisite barbed wire and electric fence warnings from the trail layer, off into the Mobberley marsh we went. Now it may have passed your notice but I doubt it that there has been a plethora of precipitation recently. Manchester had 6.98 inches of rain in June against a long-term average for the month of 1.98 inches. The effects of this monsoon were soggily obvious on the ground. This bit of Cheshire can get a bit damp even when other parts aren't, and on most non-asphalt parts of this trail, it felt and smelt like February underfoot.

An early faller was Roger Pidcock who twisted a fetlock before we'd even reached the sanctuary of the first bit of black top. As we'd had to negotiate a series of stiles, the pack had got very strung out, and I think Roger and I were both overcome with a rare bout of enthusiasm to try and keep up, as we'd spotted on one these obstacles, two chalk arrows pointing back where we'd come from. Enthusiasm and very wet grassy fields can and did lead to physical hiccups, and Roger never did get the chance to start his brain puzzling on the problem of how to get back to this field, as clearly this would be the way home.

The queues for the stiles prompted the enthusiastic to look for alternative methods of hedge negotiation. Nicky returned to the queue after one reconnaissance trip showed John Moorhouse engaged in such close combat with a combination of a thorn hedge and barbed wire she was wincing! John survived to wash off the evidence of this encounter in a large muddy puddle in the pub car park.

Anyway by the time tarmac was regained, I'd just followed the leaders round the trail, and for the next 6 checks did precisely the same, with the sole object of trying to keep up!! That steeplechase of stiles had us spread over at least a quarter of a mile, and if you're slow and at the back, that is a recipe for mild panic and sweat! Eventually, Cliff declared an amnesty, or at least a muster to allow the back to get to the front. I sidled off right up a very overgrown footpath, for a quick surruptious spot of bladder lightening, when 'On On right!' was called, and a hasty reordering of the undercarriage become essential. This is a situation where the figure hugging Lycra long johns are NOT an advantage.

So, for the first time since Tony Blair was honest, I found myself at the front. Now this piece of Cheshire is an area I know well, as it's up the side of Ringway's second runway, where when the weather and my busy commercial schedule allows, I do a spot of plane spotting. As I thought I'd already tumbled that we were going back whence we'd came, so with a quick check of the trusty Timex, plans were mentally drawn up along the lines of 'How would I get the pack back to the field of Roger's demise, if this really is a 5 ½ mile run?' Apologies to those behind, but I managed to get the next 12 checks correct. Never in the field of human hashing has any one hasher ever had such continuous success. That's probably complete bollocks, but certainly this hasher has never come this close to perfection before.

My lack of any gear other than first meant I never got any significant distance away from the pack, and I must confess that on two of these 12 correct checks I'd been overtaken by younger fitter bodies, who promptly decided to check in what turned out to be the wrong direction, leaving me with further success. Inevitably, the inevitable happened, and I went wrong, inevitably dragging half a dozen trusting souls with me. The good news was we inadvertently missed out a short loop, and stumbled back on the correct trail again, and polished off the last 3 checks with more complete precision

This run of navigational nirvana did prompt numerous comments afterwards about my competence with and/or need for a map. Just lucky folks!

Fairly early on in the piece when Dave Arthur and myself were at the front, we came out of a bog back to a road we'd been on earlier, to be greeted by Dave Taylor, who enquired was I the back marker. 'No, I'm second'!' I replied proudly. 'Oh, OK l'll catch you all up in a few minutes.' he called back over his right shoulder, and as he accelerated to Mach 2 along the lane the pack had trudged up 10 minutes earlier. I don't think he ever did catch up, but he did make the sanctuary of the bar, where the landlord decided that £159 was the right amount to charge for the first round of 37 drinks! Apparently, beer is £2.50 a pint in the Church Inn, so quite where he produced the £159 from I've no idea. I believe a reduction to £120 was negotiated after written proof of those drinking was produced.

This sort of problem does occasionally occur. There's no obvious solution, except perhaps for the first hasher into the pub to find out how much the beer is and then order 20 pints. It makes the maths easy. The trouble is that the first one in has to choose the brew, and it's guaranteed that some of the late arrivals will decide that the Black Sheep is not their tipple, and can they have the Toxic Brain Warp Special instead. I suspect we'll just have to put up with the odd kitty problem.

Tonight's calorie count was 918, and the route length was what the trail promised. Good trail guys!
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/knutsford/612211706

Tuesday 10th July - Robs BBQ

A report from El Presidente

Where to start? Probably best to get the apology done first. Owing to a devilish combination involving an ancient fridge-freezer from the Victorian era, a dodgy hip, a completely unexpected call to be the back marker, together with a reluctance to use my reading glasses, meant it was my fault that a quarter of those brave souls who set out on tonight's Hash, went completely wrong. We were not lost you understand, just wrong! My little band simply went the wrong way round Rob and Cliff's planned route. Sorry folks.

Our two hosts had decided to try for a Hash first – namely a competitive live trail. Cliff had left to run round the route complete with a large bag of Rank Hovis to mark the correct route with flour, long before any Hashers arrived at Rob's. From the pulpit in his garden, Rob then preached his instructional sermon to the assembled multitude. He had already divided everyone up into small teams of roughly equal athletic ability. What they were to do was to follow the flour, and find four large letters chalked at various checks on the trail, and the first team back with the right letters won a prize. I think mini Mars bars were the incentive for success last year.

As a P.S. Rob then issued every team with a map without the marked trail on it, as an insurance policy for those who ran out of flour, energy or enthusiasm. And so off went the teams of the lithe and the lame, with your correspondent painfully playing tail gunner as his left calf virtually seized up. At the second check the brain also seized. Having been chosen to play back marker, and being provided with a correctly marked map, I still incorrectly decided that left was right, and that straight on was wrong, when it was in fact right.

At our next check, Cliff hurtled towards us leaving a vapour trail of flour. He was completely bemused by the fact that part of the pack had apparently overtaken him! Explanations (or more accurately excuses) were offered, before he continued back to an early Boddingtons. One check further on, and Simon Parker, the On Sec and one or two others were overcome by guilt, and rebelled against the clockwise wrong way round strategy, and bravely set off to find those doing the right thing. I saw the On Sec later at the barbecue but not young Simon. I assume he survived! And so a dozen of us continued round the wrong way through fields I've not hashed since the 1980's, where hedges marked on maps have been grubbed up, and over stiles that had succumbed to the onslaught of rampant thorn hedges and briars, that themselves have flourished with the mild monsoon conditions of recent weeks. I'm with Mark Twain regarding these meteorological conditions when he said, 'Everyone complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it!'

Eventually we crossed the Macclesfield Road heading for Ollerton, where on the far side of a field full of bovines the first anti clockwise Hashers could be seen. Suitable banter was exchanged, although Doctor Arthur and Nicky were much more concerned to warn us of 'an irate farmer ahead!' Indeed, over the 97th stile of the night we scrambled, to find David Taylor engaged in animated conversation with a Massey Ferguson clad beetroot coloured farmer. I suspect the merits of running on footpaths was the subject up for discussion. I must admit to craven cowardice, as I slinked by on the other side of the lane, leaving Dave to his verbal toil. I can sympathise with Farmers worrying when 40 odd colourfully clad humanoids come trundling across footpaths they wish weren't on their land, but I'm afraid that's where the paths go, and we all take real care not to disturb the livestock.

Anyway, after our encounter with this little anti clockwise group, us wrong way rounders met precisely nobody else doing the correct route! As time went on, and darkness threatened, enthusiasm for collecting letters of the alphabet waned, whilst thoughts of self-preservation and survival waxed. Eventually, we found our way back to Rob's just after 21.30, to find we were not the last back. Cliff was slightly anxiously enquiring, 'Had we seen anyone else?' He seemed to be trying to follow Brian Hanrahan's mantra from the Falklands War days of, 'I counted them all out, and I counted them all back!' The trouble being Cliff hadn't been on the flight deck at the start to count them all out. Also, tonight was a Hash without Roger Turner, so nobody counted them out!

Anyway, eventually everyone returned (I think!). Inevitably, Mr Ellis proclaimed he'd been drinking by just after 9. By the time I got a drink I think he'd had 9! Much food and drink was consumed, and eventually the pulpit pilot produced prizes for all, or nearly all. The weather kept dry until serious alcohol had been taken, before a gentle shower drove those with empty glasses to their beds, and the rest of us under canvas. 57 ticks went into the book, which I think is the 3rd highest ever attendance. Maybe a self-destructive competitive live hash is the future? But then again! Of the 57, no less than 11 walked. As to the trail itself, Rob reckoned it was about 5 ½ miles according to his initial sermon. The attached link is my best guess as to this route. http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/knutsford/583969861

It is a tad longer than 5 ½!! The next link is especially for us wrong way rounders. We managed without knowing it, to shortcut part of the planned route. Good, eh? http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/knutsford/583959619

Mr McNaul reckoned he'd consumed 1,267 calories, which whilst not the largest individual total since records began, when multiplied by the 57 ticks, does produce a new milestone of 72,219 calories for one Hash. His electronic wonderment also said he'd run 10 miles, whilst Dave Arthur's equipment said he'd done 9 ½. Ah yes, a truly memorable one.

P.S. Why DOES Rob have a pulpit in his garden?

Having been away and crocked the following reports are a litte late and disjointed - First for Brookes effort

Tuesday June 19th

Thorn, Appleton – 19.06.07 from Allan

As my reader may possibly know, tonight marked El Presidente's return from what was a shortened but 'eventful' holiday in Italy. Having been laid up in a ground floor curtain less cardiac ward for a couple of nights, with a wonderful view of one of Sorrento's main cross roads, I can assure you, that Hashers are not the only people who often end up displaying their nether regions in public in seemingly unusual places. The Sorrentines take as much notice of under dressed hospital patients, as the average drinking punter does of half naked folk in his favourite Cheshire pub car park on a Tuesday night.

Tonight at the Thorn, there was no room in the car park for the average punter as the CH3 had collared every space by just after ½ 7. Some of our late arrivals had to make 'alternative arrangements' for their Ladas. This put David Taylor under even more time pressure than usual, as his normal habit is to arrive at 19.45 direct from work, and do a quick change in the pub car park. Tonight involved the change and a 300-yard sprint just to get to the pub.

Having returned to Cheshire it seems it's been a case of batten down the sandbags for the last week or so. Despite the rubbish weather forecast, the thundery rain managed to only bracket the Hash. It bucketed in Knutsford 20 minutes before we left for the pub, but left us in peace whilst we ran. But when we'd finished drinking it was absolutely sheeting down. Mr Ellis called 'time', so needing some relief from my 3 pints; a pit stop was required before departure. Having got to the loo I was accosted by Mr Lever.

Ah, that last sentence doesn't sound quite right! The wrong impression could be given! All Dave did was ask what happened on my holiday. Being marginally inebriated I told him – in lengthy detail. Eventually I wandered out of the back door of the pub, to discover that Mr Ellis had been helpful to his car load, by driving his Mazda round to the front of the Thorn, to minimise how far they'd all got to run to get in the motor. So yours truly ended up doing a circuit of the pub in the monsoon rain, to the intense enjoyment of his colleagues who'd only collected a dozen drips between them, before they'd reached safety. Such camaraderie.

Before the off, when Carol had changed ready to get hot and sweaty, she made an unfortunate sartorial discovery! Now Carol has some recent form when it comes to her and her running gear. Full details are in the report on Rob's trail from the Dog on the 27th March. This time Carol didn't forget to take her running gear home, she reversed the process, and forgot to bring her running shoes to the Hash. She was walking round the Thorn car park carrying a pair of shoes; with heels so high they probably qualified for a Health & Safety warning. No one had a spare pair of size 4 pumps!

Much discussion ensued as to whether Carol should qualify for a 'tick' simply because she had turned up with good intentions. 'If she starts the run, even if only for a few yards, Allan usually agrees that's OK!' said someone. Before I could confirm or deny said judgement, Carol was gone at high speed across the car park in her stockinged feet. Observing this pantomime, Mr Hack quietly extracted his mobile, contacted his base camp, which is only about ¾ mile away, and a pair of size 4 trainers appeared for Carol, before young Brooke brought us all under starters orders, so all was well with the Culley feet. What a gentleman Martin is!

And so eventually we were off. 2 checks in, and there we all are at the spot where Cat came to grief at the beginning of February on Derek and Roy's epic trial from the Hatton Arms. She didn't recognise the point of her demise, proclaiming that in February it had been rather dark! The lane she came down on is tarmaced, but in places it looks as though the top inch or so of tarmac has been worn away, leaving large lower areas surrounded by what are like vertical inch high kerbs. Apparently, in February she had just glanced back to see if there was anybody behind her, when she must have simply turned an ankle on one of these depressions and down she went! Clearly this little used lane has not been resurfaced for 50 odd years. Having myself come down twice in the last 18 months, the motto seems to be keep your eyes down and in front, rather than on what may be happening behind you.

So after a rather battered old road, Brooke then introduced us to the delights of the new developments of Pewterspear, Dudlow Park and Appleton Park. Where do the planners get the names? In fact these new estates make for excellent Hash country. Loads of checks, many changes of direction, a mixture of roads, old and new, lanes, footpaths, and bridleways in narrow bits of woodland that had been allowed to escape Mac Alpines JCBs. At one check I stopped to unload some gravel I'd acquired in my left shoe. The pack ignored their stricken colleague and On Oned away into the distance. Just as I was about to struggle to the vertical, I felt something cold on my left arm. An inquisitive black Labrador was giving me a good sniff. Its elderly owner queried what we were all doing. So a brief explanation was given. He exclaimed. 'What! You mean having found a good pub, you then RUN away from it? F**k me!' I thought it prudent to decline the elderly gentleman's kind offer, as the pack had disappeared down one of these lovely little lanes, and Pewterspear is NOT an area of Cheshire I have any familiarity with.

Anyway - a really excellent trail, which was just under 6 ½ miles long. Brooke, you done good! http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/appleton-thorn/509701932

Tuesday June 12th

The trail tonight was set by the On-On Sec and the FootWarrior in the region of Tiverton. The pub for drinking in was the Red Lion but the Pub we parked at was the George and Dragon across the road - which is one of a large number of pubs in Cheshire that appear to be closed or boarded up - possibly owned by various 'pub' companies with their dedication to bottom line maximisation.

The weather having been awful at the weekend the pleasant surprise was the warm sunny evening for the hash. We were joined by a new to us hasher called 'muddybum' or alternatively Wendy who had made the trip out from Chester by public transport. There is dedication. Steve Argles was a gentleman and gave her a lift back as he headed back up the Wirral Peninsula to his base. If You need Steve's contact for lifts send me a mail. Brian G made another appearance along with Sid who has become very keen on hacking round the countryside.

The trail was the usual excellent jobbie for the Thistletons - and everything was made much better as across the road was an excellent chippy. I started my pint while sitting in the pub garden then bought some chips. Gradually more and more bags of chips appeared until all calories used had been replaced - thus re-balancing the universe.

TOP

Tuesday May 29th

The Crown again - Goostrey this time

Nicky set tonight from Goostrey - Origanlly having David T pencilled in as co setter and front runner. David however was subsequebtly re-assigned to be in Chicago so Allan J stepped in to assist so instead of sweeping up Nicky found herself being the front guide while Allan cleared up and shouted.

After a miserable 4 days over the bank holiday weekend the Tuesday dawned cold and manky. In Manchester the cloud was breaking at around noon with scattered outbreaks of blue sky. I gather that in Preston the heavens opened in the afternoon. However by the time it came to leave for the hash - at home there was a full blue sky a gentle breeze so away went the thermals and down to one T and a pair of shorts. The weather on the taril was ideal just right - no overheating and everyone was moving well. Just as well as there were announced to be 25 checks and a reckoned 6.5 miler. It took us four minutes or so to get the first check sorted but thereafter things moved along.

Present on the trail was forementioned David T who along with Mike Murray was completing their 400th Cheshire trail. Well done for perserverence.

When we eventually got to the second check off we went acvross country then a quick turn showed us the big dish at Jodrell Bank - the radio telescope is preety large as well!! Considering the general speed the pack of 40+ runners kept well together though after a trip through the Bongs led us to a Muster point for a re-group a gathering that was watched with great interest by a herd of young cows. John Moorhouse was observed patting one in a friendly fashion but I doubt if he could make a go of it.

Coming towards the end there was a distinct change in the hash markings used. Instead of the toilet paper artfully hiding in amongst the tree blossom - or the chalk arrows - we were confronted by clusters of smileys ending with a three grouping and Nicky poing to the run-in.

Allan has a few words

Just like last week's run from the other and nearby Crown, the weather this evening cleared up from being distinctly dodgy earlier in the day, and provided beautifully clear rather cool conditions, ideal for Hashing. Nicky had her hands on the reins tonight, and announced a trial of 25 checks, starting with a 6-way check from the pub car park. What no one realised was this was a check by instalments! Effectively, she managed to stop us 3 times in about 50 yards, before the pack was released to charge away up to metalled bridleway towards Blackden Hall. This is a route I've not used since we acquired our latest cat about 12 years ago from the farm at the bottom of the drive, and certainly I've not hashed it since the mid 80's. Strange how we still find rarely used footpaths in areas we run in quite regularly.

Just for a change, your scribe was back marking, but only because David Taylor who was going to assist, had had to abandon these plans to fly to a sales conference in Chicago. Quite why the Head of Abacus Use at Churchill China should be needed at a sales conference I didn't establish. Anyway, there he was gone! Only he wasn't! At the third check, he came tearing past me having checked the wrong way. Clearly, Nicky hadn't sent him a map of her proposed route before he cried off! When he went wrong a little later in the piece, I managed to slow him to subsonic speed, and found the sales thing had been cancelled. Not only that, a major business meeting in London, which he'd slotted into this now vacant slot in his diary, had also been aborted, so here he was doing what he wanted to do in the first place.

It was David's 400th run, precisely the same as Mike Murray. Tonight was also Nicky's 150th run, and Rob (Calorie Man) Baddeley's 50th appearance. Well done all. Tonight produced another 50+ turnout, including those returning Hashers who had missed last week's anniversary run, with the pathetic excuse that they were cycling 336 miles in 6 days from Biarritz to Perpignan. Actually, one or three of them did have the decency to look a tad tired. Long distance cycling is probably not an ideal preparation for hashing. I asked Roger Turner what plans they had for a Tour de France style sequel next year. ";Across Italy." he said. Whether he was pulling my ******* I'm not sure, as the On Sec said later, that apparently plans to cycle down Wales or across Scotland had also been mentioned. Neither quite as glamorous as playing Roman soldiers across the Apennines, but I feel ill at the thought of that energy that will be required, whatever they do.

Tony Ellis asked various of the returning pedallers, ";How was it for you?" and got completely different answers. Pam said the weather had been fine, but Mr Seymour felt it had rained a bit. These two continued their disagreement on the clement nature of the conditions, whilst wrapping themselves round the outside of some ale in the pub. No report of any consensus of opinion was received before ";time" was called. They only did this trip last week, and already their memories are fading! And so, all was eventually well. All were safely gathered in, and hymn 334 was sung in the car park. Nicky's trail was another of her 6-½ mile efforts, and the route link is below. Calorie Man reckoned the trail consumed 1,133 calories. (This was confirmed as close by Alistdair who had about 1185 http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/goostrey/429143991

Tuesday May 22th 2007

The hashiversary has come round again - a full 25 years has passed since that fateful day at the Gay Dog hosted the first CH₃ trail. These days we are averaging 43 per trail and as last week's creation by Special K showed this can prove difficult in getting venues.

However tonight the Crown - possibly close to the most hashed from pub at 25 times. Allan did his little bit of magic and as you can see from the photos the sun was out. With much scurrying about the food order was placed for the large number of people and the beer pumps were primed so off we went.

Breaking with tradition we turned left out of the pub and after a trip down the road turned off and then through the car park of the nearby Bells of Peover giving the drinkers outside a nasty start. Allan did what he manages so well - he took us round old territory in a fairly new combination of ways even getting within 300 yard of the pub twice without anyone sloping off - to bring us to the pub for 9 o'clock. A quick change and he then distributed the stats for those present. The next day he followed it up with an email as in the usual hash tradition he had added an extra 52 runs onto the total and thus reduced the percentage of each hasher's actual against possible - sometimes drastically. see the stats in the section to the left. These are not the total stats just reflecting those who had run in the last year and had done more than 25 runs in total

Allan comments on the Crown and the Roal Oak

Royal Oak, Mellor 15.05.07 & Crown, Lower Peover 22.05.07

Life has got in the way of Hash reports over the last couple of weeks. There's been a day golfing with our Senior Hasher Tony Higgins in Shropshire, and a holiday trip to Wales. Marvellous! And now there's over 2 weeks of trundling up the spine of Italy to come! Mucho marvellous!! Someone asked, ";Where's the report on the red dress run?" I think the photos on the website are far more eloquent, than anything my arthritic digits could produce. Check this link. http://www.cheshirehash.co.uk/cheshire/photo/RedDress2007/RedDress2007_1.htm
(or just click on the Photo's Button to the left says Max)

Max had his camera out for the 25th Anniversary run from the Crown at Lower Peover, and the evidence of this somewhat historic event has also been put up for all to see. http://www.cheshirehash.co.uk/cheshire/photo/Crown2007/Birthday20071.htm (See reference to button on left)

There doesn't appear to be any photographic evidence of Karen's run from Mellor, so prose will have to suffice. The area around Marple Bridge where Karen lives is fairly undulating, but she promised her trail would be nothing like as challenging as Mr Ellis's sterling effort from the Stanley Arms a few weeks ago. Nonetheless, it wasn't flat! There was a hiccup at the planning stage for this run. Karen got her maps out, decided on her route, then went to her chosen pub, to give them the good news about a significant boost to profits, and was firmly told ";NO!" I think there was some other event involving music at this boozer, but as we checked by the front door mid Hash, the pub did not look like it had a Wembley style sell out! In fact, it was nearly as empty as George W Bush's brain.

So, Karen moved the start to a local school car park, which meant about a 300-yard walk to the new pub after the run, but a 9 p.m. finish and some good Robinson's put everyone in fine spirits. Except Carol, who was deeply disappointed to see her beloved Southampton squeezed out of the play offs on penalties. But her priorities are OK, Hashing before live football featuring her favourite team on the telly.

The weather was occasionally inclement on the way round, but views here are excellent. As I pondered at a muster whether the church I could see 3 postcodes away, was the one Karen took us past last year, she confirmed it was indeed part of that route. It looked miles away. I think one or two of us had a suspicion that we might be seeing this holy relic again. Anyway, down off a golf course we went, into a glade with a babbling stream, desirable renovated property, beautifully lit by the setting sun through leafy trees. Just the sort of place you wouldn't want to live in January, when the rutted access track is flooded with run off, and lights are needed after lunch because the sun vanishes behind the hill at about midday.

Anyway, up and out of the glade we struggled, past a chalk sign that read ";Last uphill", and then over the brow of the hill was a glimpse of last year's church. At the next check, amnesia immediately set in for the front runners, three of whom turned right uphill, completely forgetting the rather significant chalk clue Karen had laid 300 yards earlier! So left and down through the churchyard we went, with John Moorhouse happily saying ";Oops, sorry", to every gravestone occupant he ran over. What a considerate fellow. And then, it was a long downhill stretch to a fairly early finish. Excellent. I don't have a map of this area, so the attached link is my best guess of the route using the satellite view in Map My Run. Calories used – 729.

And so to the 25th Anniversary run from the Crown at Lower Peover, which has hosted a number of these annual events in recent years. Bearing in mind that at least 6 regular Hashers were taking part in their Coast-to-Coast pedal from Biarritz to Perpignan, there was an excellent turnout at the Crown. 55 ticks went into the book.

The weather smiled on us, the terrain was flat, and again most of the pack were back by 9. This is a well-used part of Cheshire for CH3, but tonight produced what I believe is a first. As we approached a regularly hashed path, a local farmer was actually reaping his grass growing over the path we were about to use. Into his trailer went chopped up grass and shredded loo roll! The trail layer could say with complete confidence and with no chance of contradiction that, ";the markers were there when I laid it!"

Before we set off Brian Burgess and I collected orders and money for the feast that was to follow the run. Thank you all for your co-operation in providing speedy orders, the right money, and this year all in sterling! Without your help, the admin involved in getting 40 odd meals and drinks ordered and paid for in the confines of a normal Hash, would be very difficult. The On Sec is also grateful, as she was able to take the surplus and use it for AAA subscriptions etc. The map link is below. Calorie count 868. http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/lower-peover/338288203

Tuesday May 15th 2007

The trail was an exception to recent events in that it was not backmarked by Allan but was set in its entirety by Special K and her daughter Libby in the land between Marple Bridge and Mellor.(Here be Demons?) We were encouraged to park down a side lane near a school and then ran up past the pub followed by a rapid descent. Not hard to accomplish from near the top of a hill. This was followed by going off road and a climb above a fishing pond. The trail consisted on alternating ups and downs and we appeared back at the cars at 8:58.

The pub was really pleased we were there - a different story to the one originally planned by Karen - the Cumberland - which had said they didn't want us.
Good trail though Allan later measured it and claimed that it was short of 5 miles.

Saturday 12th May 2007

Red Dress from Lach Dennis see Photos

To celebrate many things Pam and Mike set a Red Dress Run from Lach Dennis Village Hall.
A motley band of hashers turned up in their red finery - some replete with heaving bosoms, red lipstick ,tights and some of the women dressed like that too.

There were many comments . Thea said that once John was in Character she found it a little wierd to be in his company. Having spend years sharing lifts to hashes with him this comes as no surprise. Nicky complained that me in a dress with a pink wig was too surreal... then she went to check on the resilience of Mike E's augmented chest... and she thinks that I'm strange!!

However after the photo opportunity off we went to the distraction of lots of local drivers at these visions of lovliness sashaying round the streets of the area. Entertaining as well was the vigour with which the truckers on the motorway honked their horns at us.. This either provided encouragement that their attention to their surroundings was good or Worry that their eyesight was not what it should be...The 3 Greyhounds clientele were also much surprised when we turned in for a beer stop before our run in.

This was followed by some of Pams excellent food and then a ceileidh with a good band and expert caller to display hashers total lack of co-ordination when it came to such moves as 'stripping the willow' or even the dosie-doh. A very good day.

Tuesday May 8th 2007

Roger decided to set a trail from the Tunnel Top at Dutton. That is twice from the same pub in 4 weeks and that a pub we had never run from before.

However - he took a different slant and took us out to the North along the back roads and lanes before pulling us across the fields and out near The Ring o'Bells at Daresbury. The trail then led us round and through the wooded land behind the Daresbury Labs before dropping us onto the canal. At this point we were much surprised to see Tony E and John D trundling along on the other side of the canal.

When we reached the bridge below the Lord Daresbury we dropped down and over the railway to pick up our second canal - so both the Bridgewater and the Trent and Mersey ticked off. A linear park then beckoned and we emerged into the region of the Guinness bottling plant - no stopping though as we went through the industrial but well tree'd area to the run in to the pub.
Still Daylight as well.
Good trail Roger

Allan follows up

Are pubs like buses? You don't see one for years, and all of a sudden you hash from it twice in a few weeks. Tunnel Top is a pub that never registered on the Cheshire Hash radar, until Doctor Arthur finally broke his body laying from it at the end of April, and now we're back in early May, with Roger Turner doing the steering.

Roger managed to use precisely none of Dave's trail. Quite impressive. Much of his route was virgin territory for me. There was a bit close to the Ring of Bells at Daresbury that I've flogged over, but the rest including the verdant forest at the southeast corner of Runcorn, was definitely new. My OS map says this woodland is actually National Trust property. In fact, this part of Runcorn was actually quite attractive. There were some smart new build houses, with views across the Trent & Mersey Canal, access to the local Marina, bus lanes for speedy trips to the town centre, and if you really couldn't bear the thought of staying there long, it's only 5 minutes drive to the M56. Think I had an attack of Estate Agentitis there.

And so to tonight's delights. Roger announced a 6-mile run with one muster, but no other details were given. No health warnings about rampant Shetland ponies or goats – see last weeks report. No guide as to number of checks. So, as Roger does have a tiny bit of a reputation for his trails, there was some mild trepidation voiced as we launched ourselves off down the rough track at the side of the pub. But as our colonial cousins would say ";No worries!" Roger produced an excellent trail that Map My Run reckons is about 6 ¼ miles, and everyone (with an odd exception), happily peeling their kit off by 21.10.

Early on, Peter Rose drifted off the back of the pack when checks were a bit far apart, so I gave him my map, which had the correct route shown in day glow yellow marker pen. I got Roger to give me his map, so I could try and continue my tail gunner duties. I then discovered that Roger's map had the number of alternatives at each check shown by the appropriate number i.e. 2,3 or in one case 7, but no day glow line joining the numbers. In fact there was no line at all! Having sorted Peter out, there was then the sweaty bit of having to run hard to catch the pack up. And you all think being back marker is easy! So did I, when I first started offering my services a few weeks ago. Never volunteer!

Anyway, balance was restored to the force by the time we got to Roger's muster, where a good view towards the Runcorn Bridge was on offer. Not quite the crystal clear views from Macclesfield Forest produced last week, but very different in tone and character.

And so back on to the flat and along the canal, where Tony Higgins and John Davies had somehow managed to get themselves onto the side of the canal without the towpath. Inevitably, appropriate ";helpful" suggestions were shouted across the canal by the smug b********s on the right side of the water. Eventually, this gallant pair extracted themselves from the canal, although they were a tad late back at the pub. This was only the 3rd time John Davies has appeared. The first was from a very wet Frozen Mop last November, when there was an element of cartographic failure with his walking group, leading to a damp late finish. The following week he came for his second visit, but this was Dr Stephenson's dead pub trail from the Drovers, and there were no other walkers to accompany him! So, he's been a bit unlucky with a hat trick of fairly dysfunctional trails to start his Hash career. It can only get better. Can't it?
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-kingdom/dutton/390364410
Calorie count 1,098.

Tuesday May 1st 2007

Spring - Summer. It was May day and I had a debate with myself while at home as to whetehr I would wear a running vest or a T. It was a close thing as it was beautifully sunny with a mild breeze - but I thought that later in the shade a T would be slightly better - especially over at Macc Forest.

This was a wise decision as over at Macc Forest the wind was somewhat more brisk. I said as much to Carol when I declared it 'breezy' but she demurred and said it could lose many miles per hour before it approached breezy.

Tony E had decided that tonights run would be from the Stanley Arms over at Bottom-of-the-Oven, Past Macclesfield towards Derbyshire. This countryside is renouned for the amount of 'up' it contains - lots of 'down' as well but the former always comes into it. He was assisted in setting by El Presidente who seems set on getting more setting ticks this year than some heve got in a number of years.

The Lymm bus was - as often to this part of the world - a touch late. We were coming down the last steep hill towards the pub when we saw the pack heading up towards us. Bravely Lori volunteered to take the car down to the car park while the others legged it out to join the pack who greeted us with cries of only getting half a tick for such shortcutting. We did what any sensible hasher would and went down to the start - sorry fibbing there - we ignored the jibes and continued as if we had always been there. Martin more than made up for it later with some of the 'offs' he went along

It was a good trail - a touch tough especially as you had to tack with the wind to get anywhere. At one stage we were crossing a stile and there was this great thunder of hooves and about 40 goats appeared from over the horizon to see what we were doing
There was agood downhill run-in and I was much pleased that this was completed without resouce to a torch.
The pub wasn't too bad with Jennings and Marstons - though a little less head would be appreciated Mr Landlord and a little more beer./p>

Allan's report

Isn't there some old cliché like, ";Never cast a clout till May is out"? I suspect it means it can be a bit cold in May. Well, the Saturday before this run from the Stanley Arms, Mr Ellis and I went to do the necessary with the toilet roll, and found that although the weather was sunny and clear, the ambient was a bit on the modest side! Tony was all dressed for a good run, whilst I had the thermal T-shirt, the thick long sleeved shirt, and the padded waistcoat. Tony decided to add the hooded fleece, before we left to do battle with the little undulations!

After a couple of hour's leg wrestling with the terrain, we returned to the car park, to discover the pub didn't open until noon! Eventually, entry was permitted, and Tony advised the staff that about 40 of us would be there to boost the profits on Tuesday night. ";How many cars?" he was asked. Some satisfactory answer was cobbled together, but the pub staff wanted us to use their top car park. When we arrived on Tuesday, most of the Hash seemed to be on time, and had virtually filled the lower car parks, so Tony jumped out to pass on the landlord's instructions, whilst I motored up into the virtually filled top car park! Two car spaces were left for other guests when we set off running.

There was considerable enthusiasm for the running to start, as the weather was even sunnier and clearer than Saturday, but oh dear the temperature was frigid. A strong easterly was whistling down from Shining Tor, and Hashers who are virtual strangers were cuddling each other in the car park, to ward off frostbite. Some Hashers were desperately searching their boots, (car variety), to see if they had brought more insulation, other than the flimsy running vests and high cut shorts, that the weather down on the Cheshire Plain had persuaded them to wear.

Pam Eden was doing circuits of the car park to ward off the cold, whilst pleading with Tony to ";get your act together!" Tony was concerned because the Lymm bus hadn't arrived, but it was expected. Eventually, Tony was persuaded to let us go, and off up the main road we went, to be greeted by the Lymm bus coming down. ";Debris on the M6" was the reason/excuse for their late arrival. Anyway, out of the car piled Messrs, Hack, Saunders and the Webmeister, whilst Lori and Maggie drove the Volvo down to the pub to cut the available parking space by another 50%!

After three checks, the pack was stretched out over 600 – 700 yards. The views were wonderful, but rather depressing if you were at the back, and could see Mr Hack breasting the rise at the top of a valley, whilst you were just setting off down from the previous crest. Still checks are wonderful things, and balance was restored to the force two checks later.

Here some of the fast runners had checked up and only slightly left across an open field, whilst the correct trial trundled quietly straight on down an unmade track. ";On On" straight on was the call. Those to the left almost unanimously decided that going back to the stile that led them wrong was not a good plan, and hared straight downhill across the field to try and short cut back to the track. They were OK until they got to the very solid dry stonewall at the edge of the field, and discovered that the owner had strung an electric fence across the top as added security to keep his now rampaging wild beasts safely in this field. Much cursing, whilst trying to balance on one Nike ensued, with those on the correct route shouting suitable encouragement to the circus acts being performed by their colleagues in their attempts to escape from the circling animals. Shetland ponies have never looked so fierce!

Two checks further on, and the pack has been persuaded that straight on down the road to the Crag at Wildboarclough is correct. Now Carol who lives down near the Crag got a little worried, as she'd asked Tony before we started, ";Is the trail going near my house?" In a fit of generosity he wouldn't have for us attractive male Hashers, he said ";No", but now it seemed the trail layer had spoken with forked tongue. In reality Tony was happily chatting away at the check, whilst making sure nearly all the pack were heading the wrong way, before cheerfully screaming, ";Come back straight on! On On right!" Now it was OK for him as he scurried quickly right, but he left his humble assistant (me) who was sweeping at the back to face the grumbles of those returning uphill from the Crag, who stoutly maintained they HAD found two markers straight on. Not my fault folks, I was just following orders.

So, back uphill we went, and the higher we went, the windier it got.Thundering cloven hoofs could be heard at one point, which got rapidly louder, and the pack found itself being looked down on by a herd of dark brown beasts. Goats have never looked so fierce! What is it with the farmers round here with their stock of more esoteric animals? Perhaps the more common cows and sheep don't like it up here. Certainly, some Hashers didn't, for as they clambered over a stile at another dry stone wall, at the top of Macclesfield Forest they were fully exposed to the wind now howling out of the east. Having been cuddling each other before the start, there was now much hand holding over this stile, to counter balance the effects of the wind.

The long uphill to this stile had spread the pack out, and when I reached the top, I could see a small band of Hashers huddling together a couple of hundred yards to the right, at a T junction which looked down on the pub. They clearly weren't sure they were right, because it wasn't yet half past 8, and they were milling about in a fog of uncertainty desperately trying not to freeze, but clearly they didn't want to come back unless they were definitely wrong! They were. Left it was, and then right, and very sharply down the lane into Macclesfield Forest, with the wind pushing people down much faster than they planned. In the Forest of course, it was dead calm.

However, the fast men were now back at the front, and having once already gazed longingly down on the salvation offered by the pub, they knew where the trail had to go, and there was enormous enthusiasm for the very steep climb back out of the Forest. And so it was back to the pub before 9 for the quick ones, and a tad later for the tail gunners. Despite the bitter wind, a number of Hashers congratulated Mr Ellis on an excellent trail. A 4 ½ mile length, and no rain probably affected their judgement! If there had been ANY precipitation in that wind, it would have been appalling! The map link is next,
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/bc/stanley-arms,-macclesfield/362291677
The calorie count was 961. A lot for such a short trail!

TOP

Tuesday 24th April