Tuesday 28th Dec 2004

The tween hash was set by Peter R and Allan but Peter could not actually run it so it was up to the hashmeister to run it. There was a decent turn out for what turned out to be a jolly gallop round the green paths and estates of Knutford

It was unusual for two things.. Firstly it was Dark, in December and Lynn was out!! and Secondly as there were no dogs at all on trail.. hunting without dogs it was then...

It was threatening with rain at various point but this was one of the lesser problems as Allan and Peter had set a convoluted little trail which criss-crossed at regular intervals, without the need to lift any markers to make it work, just the switch from 'on the right' to 'on the left' and back. Several hashers were heard to say ' I thought I knew Knutsford fairly well but....'

An excellent trail and a couple of pints of Marstons to go with it. Cheers

Boxing Day Walk

Boxing Day dawned Bright, sunny, cold ( -2) and with a 4 inch covering of snow!! Nick took us off on the Boxing Day walk again, this time from near Bosley and by the Staffordshire Way. Starting next to the Knot Inn we went up the trail past the miniature railway line by the side of Rudyard Reservoir. The initial speed was not high due to the immaculate winter day conditions, Pretty snow patterns, brilliant sunshine and no wind and fairly firm underfoot meant lots of photo opportunities including the sight of a coxed four and a single female sculler dedicatedly training. I would not envy any of them falling in.

A goodly way further on we stopped at the end of the reservoir to have a cupper and avail ourselves of the public loo. From here we moved off the popular route and accross the fields. until it was time to lunch after about 2 hrs walking. Some of the going was a little sqelchy under the layer of snow. This became particularly apparent when we were followed across a field by a herd of cows with calves and later when some Shetland ponies attempted to take out the 'Westies'

It was an excellent walk and the weather made it better. see pictures at Photos

Tuesday 21st Dec 2004

It was the longest night and the Eden family had set the winters trail. When we arrived it was getting distinctly cooler. 3 degrees trying for freezing. 31 hashers turned up , especially as Pam had prepared good food as is her wont.

We started off and it was already slippy underfoot and then after the first check we headed off downa narrow lane which had not seen much sun during the day. It was like a skating rink.. albeit one with gravel and tarmac. This was followed by working our way off rad through crunchy mud.

However as the trail continued the mud got softer until we reached Pickmere itself by the mere where it was fairly mild and Pam was awaiting with hot toddy and also a small hunt the parcel. Various goodied were found with socks and knickers in crackers and a couple of gold crackers which gave free food.

After the jollity it was a leg back to Brook cottage and a plateful of curry or/and Fish pie followed by super desets.... And beer of course. Excellent.. Thanks to Pam and Mike for a good trail and feast.

Allan's Rep

The Eden’s Xmas “Do” – 21.12.04

Having only recently returned from an 9-week sojourn on the Algarve, where it rained on no less than 3 days (!), Mike & Pam produced another superb pre-Xmas run and food extravaganza. The weather was kind but cold, and as the Webmeister mentioned in his report, the first mile was definitely Torvill & Dean. But from then on the mud got deeper, until Pam produced punch, plus a hunt the parcel competition down by Pickmere Lake. Thereafter, Mike introduced us all to the intricate delights of the urban metropolis of Wincham. There were footpaths I didn’t know existed, and housing estates which I wish didn’t!

After 15 minutes of 3 bed semi meandering, all sense of direction vanished. Check followed check producing complete navigational dysfunction, with Mike kindly not allowing much lingering around. Finally, we emerged onto the Wincham to the Windmill road, and as Mike had announced at the beginning, that the trail had something for everyone, this looked like a long run in designed for Dr Stephenson. A fortunately correct assumption on my part, although the good Doctor couldn’t believe the run in could be this long, and incorrectly checked 2 checks and nearly missed the first mince pies.

In addition to the running and canine contingent, there was a modest walking party, and in the end 49 ticks went into “the book”. An excellent turnout, good grub and plenty of drink. Why on earth would anyone want to spend 9 weeks in the sunny Algarve?

Tuesday 14th Dec 2004

Tonight was set by Daniel O'B from near the "Bull's Head" at Kerridge. I am not certain how the trail started as the Lymm Bus was late, very late nearly 8 o'clock.
Fortunately Daniel had left a map for such as we and so we went off in a different direction to see if we could cut off the first 5-10 minutes of the trail.
We were more fortunate. We heard calls of 'on-on' up on a hill. We saw the light of torches. It was a mere gallop across this style and up this field we thought.. Hah.. The field was built on a slope. It was ploughed to pieces and the drizzle of the day had turned it into a rough slick. By the time we got up to the path the has had moved on and we were knackered.
We caught them up though and managed some checking. There were some good fields and trails in there and the rain stayed off ( It was Tuesday!!) The beer in the pub was Robinsons and was like the trail. Wet but excellent

Allan's Rep.. Promises Promises

After about 3 weeks of drought, the rains threatened to return for another of Daniel's mystery trips around his Bollington front door. Intermittent wipers on the drive there indicated a damp evening, but fortunately the rain Gods relented, and the pack only suffered an early brisk & raw breeze – oh, and a very undulating 5 & a half-mile trail!

Daniel announced before the off, that the trail contained slippy cobbles, stiles, footpaths etc etc, & in one part required ropes. The pack is used to such prophecies of doom, and yawned. 10 minutes into the trail, I'm climbing steps so steep, I can put my hands on the steps to come, without bending forward! 15 minutes in & I'm perilously close to 5.9 for artistic impression, descending a steep track that fortunately is taking us away from White Nancy! About here the extremely fit & enthusiastic Paul Jackson got mislaid.

A little further on, after young Paul has returned, Daniel decides the safest option, is not to let the pack try & navigate the back streets of Bollington, & leads us through an intricately designed housing estate, before leaving us once again facing the edge of the Peak District. Then across a field, up through some back streets, more green uphill, a steep cobble descent, (Mr Jackson missing again), then the Macclesfield Canal, but heading north away from the pub, a 180 degree turn, then a trundle down the Middlewood Way & eventually home uphill across a very very very long field. It was gratifying to see Paul was safely gathered in. Daniel ambles off home, calling in the pub on his way and ordering 10 pints. Why only 10, Brian gave him strict instructions to order 20?

And so to the promises of the title. Now, this appears to be a long drawn out almost Nordic saga, involving 2 members of the medical profession. It seems that about 2 winters ago, Messrs Stephenson and Moorhouse got to talking about flu jabs across their Boddingtons. As a hard drilling dentist, Mr Moorhouse seems to have confided in Dr Stephenson, that he felt he ought to have a flu jab, but was far too busy crowning & bracing to get to his Doctor. Rob apparently said something to the effect, “No problem pal, I'll bring you a shot next Tuesday night”.

Apparently, Tuesday went by, with no shot! In fact over 100 Tuesdays (& 2 winters) are alleged to have past without any action. Now this is where the story gets hazy, but it seems last Monday Dr Arthur became aware of the dentist's “pressing” needs, and when I sat down next to Dave in the pub on Tuesday evening, he produced something from his pocket, that he referred to as “Two little pricks! ” Being quite blind without my readers at anything within 3 feet of my nose, I had to have a quick scrabble for my glasses, which revealed a small clear plastic box, with 2 glass tubes inside.

A few minutes later Mr Moorhouse comes over, kneels down next to Dave, (Heather wondered if he was going to propose), & the Doctor gives him his flu jab. John asked what the other little prick was for, and Dave replied, “Adrenalin! In case you have a reaction!” John did. He laughed, wandered off to the bar and ordered another Robinsons. The locals also reacted, by simply looking blank with jaws wide open. It's a wonder someone didn't decide the police might be interested. It isn't every day you see someone getting shot up in your local lounge bar! Oh, and the Robinsons was beautiful, and I think cheap, as there was a modest kitty surplus.

More Allan reps

The Star and Birch & Bottle

The one possible benefit of being laid up first with a total gastric clear out of the internals, followed by the return of my old “friend” the chest infection, is that they imposed a total period of rest on my right Achilles tendon. That I screwed up in June! I mangled it the week after I put my name down to do a trail in early December. Nothing like giving ones self some advanced warning.

Having tried to run the Achilles strain off, (trust me NOT a good idea), this month of inactivity seemed to have made the worst of the ache go away.

With Mr Ellis hors de combat with the expected reaction to his radiotherapy, I thought it would be only myself & Mr Seymour walking from The Star in Lymm. But just as we set off, we got a very pleasant surprise, with the unexpected appearance of Maggie, also recovering from the effects of NHS. So, a fine evening weather wise as we ambled round Lymm, and its dam.

The only problem being, I managed to lose Maggie & John! How can you lose both the people you are walking with? Particularly as this Hash was virtually all in a built up area with streetlights. Not a good omen for the Birch & Bottle on the 7th December, when I was supposed to be steering the whole pack round a very rural area near Antrobus. Apologies to Maggie & John, who managed to find the pub only 90 seconds after my lone arrival. At least they didn't suffer Kev saying to me as I tried to slink back unseen into the pub car park, “I counted them all out, but I DIDN'T count them all back!”

Mr Hack kindly helped lay the trail from the Birch & Bottle. So some solid back up there then. A beautiful clear evening with no moon beckoned. Having warned the pack about a slippery bridge before we set off, and reminded them a dozen times as they approached the hazard, I suppose it was inevitable that it was bone dry! The only problem being Bridget's dog, who had been leash free in the field, hurdled across the bridge, did a smart right to follow the fast runners, leaving it's owner looking for a coal coloured Labrador on a moonless night in the blackout of the countryside.

Torches can suffer blackouts as well! Rod found that his feeling that perhaps he ought to change his batteries before he left home, proved singularly accurate. His torch faded into extinction as he found himself tail gunner in a potato field, where his little Westy struggled with this mountainous terrain. Then there was a double stile into a field with horses, (always a good mix with canines), where the stile out of the paddock was not that obvious even with the right candlepower. By the time he emerged onto the A49 (“what am we were doing here?”), there was no sign of the Hash. Except, he saw more fresh mud on the pavement going right rather than left, and being a good scout, made the correct management decision.

Peter Rose, who is another recovering from the surgeon's knife, walked on his own. At one stage where he assumed he was where he wasn't, he came upon a Hasher who he didn't know, who was lost. Peter thought it was this Hasher's first outing. In his navigationally challenged position, Peter gave the runner directional guidance, who then disappeared into the night seemingly a happy Hasher. The problem being, on returning to the pub, Peter queried who this Hasher was. A thorough head count in the pub produced only one new face, a runner who it turned out had run twice before in 2001, & Peter confirmed him not the guilty party.

On checking with Roger, who always does “count us all out” of the car park, he reckoned 32 Hashers including dogs left the pub. My records showed 33 returned. Any guidance anyone can provide on this typical Hashing glitch, please ring somebody else.

P.S. I think you can often tell a well-laid & marshalled trail, by the lack of reports sent to the Webmeister. Young Colin's escapade at the Harrington Arms produced much literary activity. Interestingly, despite its muddy depths, length, lack of drinking time and drizzle for those who didn't finish before 21.40, it inspired MORE people to turn out the following week! A strange thing is Hashing.

7th December 2004 - Birch and Bottle

Tonight Allan dusted off his maps and set from the Birch and Bottle near Antrobus. He was assisted by Martin, well happy as a. he would not be driving and b. he would have to take on plenty of liquid sustenance to get himn over the golf course on his walk home.

The trail was advertised as 6 miles and with the damp holding off it reamained fairly mild. The first part was mostly above ground but we were warned to expect a very slippery bridge on our travels. As we approached it accross a muddy field we found to our pleasure that it was much less slippy than the field we has just come though

The trail took us into that space between the Northwich Road and the A49, teeritory I remember from setting a live trail between thunderstorms from the Millstone for the Warrington Wednesday hash. As I remember it is possible to run people round one section several times without them becoming aware of it. This Allan did with consumate ease.

The Trail finished with a run in along a country lane that drops you straight at the front of the pub. Nice one

TOP

30 November 2004 - Star Inn, Lymm

Un autre report de David T

Simon W, with Roger P helping out, set a mixed trail from the pub at the north west end of Lymm. On previous reports I had apparently inferred that Roger was prone to mis-directing me at checks. I would like to apologise for this as I now know he is completely even handed and is prepared to mis-direct the whole hash, as he did early on in one of the housing estates.

This didn't hold us up for too long and we soon managed to get lost without the assistance of the trail layers. The trail wound down towards Statham, back through the golf course and up through the village before making the obligatory loop around Lymm Dam. The finish was downhill through the village and along the canal.

There were plenty of checks and enough ways to ensure that no one broke away from the pack for any length of time and the location ensured that there were always several alternative ways back to the pub. A good trail.

23 November 2004 – Golden Pheasant, Plumley

Un report de David T

Simon P assisted by Paul set a mainly rural trail from Plumley's finest hostelry (the Smoker isn't much good to hash from). The first half covered the normal verdant fields and lanes of Cheshire, whilst the second moved to the blasted heath that surrounds the old Octel plant, guaranteed to put lead in your petrol, but not necessarily into your pencil.

The landscape has always been a little surreal (for Cheshire anyway) given it is very flat and almost featureless apart from the odd brine extraction station and other remnants of Northwich's industrial past. The fact that we generally run round it on cold misty nights doesn't help but it always feels like the sort of place that wildlife avoids. At least it was dry on the night, if a little wet underfoot.

The trail itself mixed long and short checks and was well marked. A final run in across the railway to the north end of the village finished a decent nights run. Thanks to the trail layers

November 16th..2004 Bird in Hand

The ON-On Sec has kindly penned a report for this week from the 'Bird in Hand' at Mobberley

Another wet week and what's more the Weather God forgot that it was Tuesday evening and didn't turn off the rain clouds. Despite the best efforts of several dedicated Hashers they arrived back at the pub soaked from head to foot, although the shoes were slightly cleaner than last week from the Harrington Arms.
Despite Victor's (David L) dire warnings of impending Trench Foot after last weeks extravaganza no one seemed to have developed this dreadful complaint - just goes to show what rugged Hashers we all are. A good trail which got off to a cracking start by crossing a field which was over the ankles in mud and water and then a brisk pace along the lanes and paths to the edge of Lindow Common then back towards the pub, unfortunately with a second loop that took us away from the pub again and through a particularly disgusting field! Still we all got a wash down as the rain continued all the way back to the Bird in Hand.

The walking party was led (this word used advisedly) by Tony E. Tim made the long journey across the road from his house to join this august group as they wandered around the lanes of Mobberley in deep discussion. This was the Muddy Puppy's 500th trail - he would have been able to celebrate by spashing through every patch of mud and puddles had he known it was his anniversary before we set off. Still he manage to enjoy the Sam Smiths and an odd packet of crisps afterwards. Very cheap beer and although they didn't have any guiness the stout was very acceptable. OnOn Sec

November 9th..2004 Harrington Arms

Tonight was set over near Gawesworth at a hash favourite.. the Harrington Arms. Peter Rose used to set from here but infrequently as he said that there were only 4 usable trail routes out.

Well Colin B used a different route combination. Coupled with the hash inate ability to find its way we ended up off trail and with two miles home at a rather late stage of the evening.. having ploughed our way through the mud and even a will-o-the -wisp moment when we followed the torch of the hare until we were standing in a very wet field wondering which way to go.
We believe it was the wrong field.

Well... it semmed a long night when I trundled back in at 9:35 and will be ever grateful for David T for offering me a lift back when I was 30 yds away from the pub ( he had picked up Jean at this point)

The several pints of Robinsons reset the balance of my liquids to their correct alcohol level. Cheers Colin ( and Peter as back-up)

David Lever reports

The Hash from the Harrington Arms on Tuesday 9th November 2004 is the most memorable of the year to date for me. Before we started the run I was told by the Hares that it was very muddy and quite long but I could not have imagined what was in store for us. It was heavy going and the stiles were extremely slippery which slowed us down. It was claimed that the trail was a little over six miles with eighteen checks. The number of checks appeared to be significantly overstated, whereas the stated distance was way short of the truth. It was very wet and very muddy, but that's what we should expect after so much rain. Of course, the mud had a large amount of special additives that cause any pub to be cleared of the regulars when we all pile in. However, I suspect that many of the Hashers will be suffering from Trench foot for some time to come. Unfortunately, I tripped and fell face down into a particularly wet field during the early stages but hardly anyone laughed.

At the outset we were told that "markers were on the left" - a change in rules yes, but OK we Hashers are flexible folks and we can cope. However, it appeared that sometimes the markers were "on the right" and sometimes "either the left or the right" - we could never be sure, we couldn't find many markers anyway. Apparently, the markers had originally been set on the left but, because of the rain, it was thought that some had been washed away, so the Hares set some more but this time on the right ..... cunning eh?! If the Hares couldn't afford toilet paper for the markers they should have told us, I would have gladly donated a roll. Suffice it to say that we saw little tissue paper all night. I don't mind being called back when I have checked the wrong way and the "On On" is called in a different direction - it is all part of the fun. However, I do find it hard to cope when told by the Hares that I am on the right road and where to check next, only to be called back after running quite a long way down the road. I don't quite push on with the same enthusiasm after that. This should have been a warning - WE didn't know where we were going!!

In the absence of Tony Ellis, I made a point of mentioning that the time was beyond 9:00 pm but little did I know it would be another half an hour or so of running before we would return to the pub. At a particular point, we all arrived in a field somewhere in Cheshire and after a few minutes most of the pack appeared to be with us. Unfortunately the principal Hare wasn't anywhere to be found - in fact we never saw him again until we were back at the Harrington Arms. However, we all trotted around the field a few times looking for a way out. After a great deal of discussion, we decided to go out the way we had come in, find a road and follow it - it must lead somewhere. We found a road and followed it, more in hope than in expectation. The hope turned to uncertainty and dismay as we realised that we had no idea where we were and neither did the Assistant Hare. Fortunately Bridget Taylor was at hand and she said she knew where we were and how to get to the pub .. but it was quite a long way.

The "run in" as it turned out to be was about two and a half miles - something Rob Stephenson would have been proud of but unfortunately he wasn't there to enjoy it. During the "run in" my hamstring tweaked again and I was left to contemplate hopping through a game of 5 a side the next night. The later stages of this Hash were not on trail - we had found a route back to the pub and we were determined to get there, but it was a bit further than the allegedly "marked trail". The last Hasher returned to the pub just before ten o'clock but unfortunately the Hares had not arranged for the pub to have an extension to it's opening hours for that night. Others were collected by David Taylor who after he returned to the pub kindly went back in his car to pick up stragglers.

It didn't help to find that the walking group had returned quite some time earlier, were looking relaxed and very, very smug. Allan Jones started to make a note of the times that runners were arriving back and was moving back and forth, constantly chuckling to himself. Dave Arthur showed us that he had run almost nine miles which is well above the distance he would expect for a "normal" hash .... BUT this was no normal hash Nevertheless, it's great to have a Hash like this from time to time. The hash from The Blue Cap the previous week went exactly to plan with everyone back in the car park just after nine - no one will remember that. But no one who was there, will forget the Hash from The Harrington Arms.

And Allan J has his groat's worth

Harrington Arms, Gawsworth – 09.11.04

Probably the majority of Hashes do not manage to inspire any literate Hasher to pull out the keyboard, but I think the Harrington Arms trail is going to lead to some repetitive strain strain. Less than 12 hours after the event, I have already had my 100 triggabyte E Mail memory almost used up by the mystic myriad musings of Mr Lever, who clearly is NOT doing “stuff” (work to you & me) today! /i>

The pre Hash omens were not too good. Before the off, Peter Horner, the assistant hare, was scurrying about the front of the pub muttering, “We should go soon, this trail is probably longer than we think!” Maps were produced for the lame (Seymour, Ellis & Jones that well known firm of walking windbags), and a quick glance showed they would be wandering on their own lonely route towards the Peak District, whilst the pack meandered in a circular route across the low lying clay based swamp lands of the parish of Marton. The walkers had a pleasant stroll, although the farmer out tending next months Xmas lamb chops, seemed rather put out by this torch swinging trio wading through his fields, & interfering with whatever a sheep farmer does at night with his flock. I don't suppose he was sheep rustling was he?

We ambled back to the pub about 21.10, and as instructed by the trail layer (the valiant Colin Bonimeade) went into the bar to get drinks poured for the imminently arriving gasping pack of runners. After laying the trail, the landlord told Colin he could with a bit of notice to pour the beer, as he also had a quiz night scheduled. A quiz night at the Harrington Arms – is nothing sacred? Anyway, my memory of the Harrington Arms from the 1980s was immediately confirmed, when the beer appeared in enamel jugs! However, no hashers appeared. The third time I went out of the pub to check for survivors, a panting Dr Arthur arrived, proclaiming the longest run in Hash history. His pedometer claimed he'd run 8.8 miles (including any false checks). He thought the run in was at least 2 ½ miles. The time was 21.36. The rest of the pack then returned in ones and twos and dogs over the next 18 minutes!

It requires little imagination to see what the pack thought of this trail. They was as much rumblings and mutinous talk as there was after the Copper Mine trail in the summer – which everyone has now happily forgotten about! It is fortuitous that hash memories are no better than the average populace, or the organisation would never survive.

Anyway, the source of the late finish seemed to be a combination of,
A long trail
Low atmospheric pressure + heavy rain = deep mud
The trail layers looking after the back and losing touch with the front
And a decision by the bulk of the pack in the middle of a field, that as they couldn't find markers to lead them to the correct way out, they should find a road, any road, when hopefully someone would recognise that bit of black top & a steer back to the pub could be obtained.
It will be interesting to see if a map of what was actually run, can be compared with what was planned. I have a copy of the planned route, so if anyone can send me a copy of what was actually achieved, I'd be grateful.

Within 10 minutes of the weary Hash cramming into the back bar of the pub, conviviality returned, and enamel jug bottoms were thrust skywards, as pints pots were filled & enthusiastically used for their designed purpose. “Are these jugs legal?” queried Mr Ellis as he rapidly consumed the evidence. “Probably”, replied Ray, “they've got markings on them!” And indeed these chipped & battered containers, that looked almost antique, did indeed have 4 litre capacity marks engraved on their bottoms. Wow, an 18 pint tankard. Makes a yard of ale look pathetic!

November 2nd.. The Blue Cap

I was back this week to run on the trail from the Blue Cap Hotel at Sandiway:- preoared by the two Davids. Thios was unusual in that I had a hash report from Davi L BEFORE the trail had been run. See after.

It is sad to be in the full dark at the start of the run, completed by the clocks having gone back last Sunday. We went off through the front of the hotel and then it was a choice of left or right down the dual carriageway or straight across and down a little dark lane towards the woods and mud. Yes it was that obvious ( fortunately Rob checked down the road.

We had some good checks through the woods and then we plumetted down into the trees and the deeper squelch. The small white dog was now only white on the top. The bottom half was dark brown.

The pack was a bit slow at this point but we then hit some lanes and the pace picked up a little.. We got lost more quickly than before. The warmer than expected evening and the rain holding off meant we were all sweating a bit when we ran in at the same time as the walkers returned. A good trail and just the thing to send Brooke off to OZ for his next summer and his and Lori's return next April

Davil L's pre report

David Taylor and I had planned to set the Hash from The Blue Cap this Thursday morning. He couldn't do it this weekend - some pathetic story about taking his wife to Prague. I couldn't do it next week - for some ridiculous reason I'm working - doing stuff. He rang me this Wednesday evening to tell me that we wouldn't now be able to set the Hash this Thursday morning. He had heard terrible warnings about severe weather - freezing cold, strong winds and driving rain - weather of biblical proportions he called it. He reminded me of trails that we had set together in the pouring rain and described the terrible experiences that we had to endure including trying to tie soaking wet tissue paper into hedgerows. Unfortunately, we couldn't find another time to set it together before Tuesday, so we made contingency plans about setting 50% each. Anyway, we left it that he would telephone me at 08:00am to say "yes" or "no".

David Taylor called me at the agreed time and we went ahead. We set the Hash this morning - the weather was beautiful .... pleasant temperature (not too hot, not too cold), sunny, blue skies (not one cloud in the sky), calm - absolutely ideal weather for trail laying. I don't know who prepared the weather forecast - I thought that Michael Fish had retired. We managed to complete the setting in just over a couple of hours even though I was struggling with a re-occurrence of a hamstring injury sustained at the recent Hash weekend and following a tough 5 a side game the previous evening.

I'm afraid I still can't find my way around what he has called The Heineken part of the run (the trail that reaches parts that other Hashes have never reached .... those who run it will understand why !!!) but I will do it again at the weekend and I'm sure it will become clear. David has even written out detailed instructions for the hard of thinking (me). It's a pity because I know all the other paths and non paths around the whole area quite well but I don't seem to get my head around that bit.

As we are both accountants and firmly believe in a belt and braces policy, David Taylor is going to apply flour to The Heineken part of the run to help anyone (everyone) who fails to be guided by the tissue. In addition, we've added a "muster" point and we will carry whistles. Anyway, as they say, it will probably be alright on the night.

TOP

26 October 2004 - High Legh Village Hall and the Bears Paw

A compact trail from Roger P and Simon initially took us south and east through the village on relatively dry fields and roads before turning west across the A50 for the harder section of the nights exercise. A couple of long checks down somewhat overgrown footpaths and across ploughed fields tested the stamina of most of the pack, but were only a warm up for the struggle across the final fields.

I am sure Roger is to be believed in his assertion that it was dry (ish) when set, but when the tide came in as I was halfway across what on a drier night would have been described as a quagmire, I distinctly felt an element of doubt creep into my mind.

The trial (sorry, I meant trail) finished with a run in past the garden centre and then a pint in the pub as normal.

<19 October 2004 - The Vine - Dunham Massey

Jean as lead setter, ably assisted by John, set from a recent favourite. The trail moved apace across footpaths and the Trans Pennine Way, feinted towards Partington before turning back towards the Vine.

Given that it was mid October, the nettles should have lost some of their vigour, but unfortunately had not and the section through some woods caused a number of comments, none of which bear repetition.

A fast last section down the lanes to the north of the pub allowed the quicker runners to (a) stretch their legs and (b) get lost and as normal most of the pack arrived together.

Tuesday 12th October 2004

Martin set tonight from the Red Lion in Stockton Heath, parink in the car park behind Somerfields.
The evening was now dark from the start and there was a slight 'mizzle' which did not deter the 28 hashers including some walkers and a visitor from Norfolk Hash up to promote NashHAsh 2005 August Bank holiday weekend in Norwich
I did not do a lot of checking... seeing as I had a map and was tidying up the back of the trail it seemed a little unfair but the trail of about 5.5 miles was well received by those attending.
Dave A was , however, on a bit of bad luck in his choice of routes as he mostly checked 'offs' and spent most of the evening making his way back to the front of the trail.
Towards the end of the trail a few hashers missed out the last loop round the back of Morrisons and onto the only bit of the trans-Pennine footpath used by the trail that night.
The beer was fine and Simon was presented with his glass for completing 100 runs

Hash Weekend Sat 9th - Sun 10th October 2004

The Hash weekend was organised with their usual expertise by Heather and Nick with Tony H doing the 'Hare of the dog' Way-fareing assisted by John H in the setting.

A group of 20 made their way up to Clayton-Le Moors at the Dunkenhalgh Hotel for the Saturday Hash which took us around the Country Park
The trail was excellent. The bull in the field was placid and the view of Blackpool tower and Winter Hill and the Jubilee tower at Tockholes was excellent
We appeared to get back to the cars just before the sky turned black with storm clouds

Sunday saw us back at j 4 to follow Tony's way-faring at Tockholes, near Darwen. The routes used a number of the sections of the Witton Weavers Way.. From the map the Witton Weavers must have had a long way to go to work. T
he day was not bad:- clear and bright with just a touch of breeze and we we allowed to drop one team member off at the top of the North of the junction to make collecting the extreme markers possible. As usual there were the mixture of markers found and markers missed but each of the four teams had difficulty finding the trail which on the map appeared to cross the motorway but , as I found, was broken and was moved to run alongside the South of the motorway. This is currently being investigated by Peter R thorough his inside contacts with footpaths and rights of way.
From here it was a bit of a drag through fields ankle deep in mud.. Just like a Tuesday!!

Tuesday 5th October 2004

The following report is from David T on the trail at Marple Bridge... one he says he enjoyed even though he fell down.. He was more fortunate than Roy Kelmsley who has , as Rosie put it, a fracture-lateral malleolus of the fibula and will be out of it for a couple of months... much to his annoyance

5th October - Hare and Hounds, Marple Bridge

A further opportunity to appreciate the delights of Marple and surrounding areas as Clive set from his favoured location at the bottom of several hills.
A noisy start amongst the traffic soon gave way to long stretches across fields, golf courses and canals bringing us to the top of Marple's impressive flight of locks.
The descent through suburbia was not however without incident as several of the Hash fell over (myself included) with one particularly vicious path accounting for at least four normally well balanced runners. I am indebted to two members of the Hash (and they know who they are) for their kindness, support and indeed humour after my close encounter with some hardcore. It is a sign of character to be able to laugh in the face of adversity, especially when it is someone else's. I am however still confused as to whether when one said "I've had worse", she was referring to the grazes adorning my forearm or the gentleman standing next to her.
The trail ended with an always welcome downhill run in and similarly attractive liquid refreshment.
Thanks for the trail Clive.

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Tuesday 28st September 2004

Again with the stopping raining before the trail. The two Davids prepared the nights entertainment from the Tiger's Head at Norley. There were many complaints ' from Rod, as the hash started off slowly down a narrow footpath strewn with roots that the fron were not moving fast enough

This soon rectified itself as we hit a road and dissapeared in different directions. The trail made a fair use of clarty footpaths and fields and we were joined at odd instances by late hashers appearing out of the woodwork with special K and then Ian joining up.

The opposite nearly happened to Roger T at one point as he went happily checking off over a style only to find that it was a home made one which deposited him in a confused homeowner's garden

Still ... we got back and as wel as presenting Richard with his tankard for 200 we found that Pam had made a rude cake for Rob S's 500th. The surgical precision with which he performed a D and C on the cake caused some winces

Tuesday 21st September 2004

I was away so the report is from El Presidente

Rambos & Wimps – White Lion, Alvanley – 21.09.04 By Allan Jones

It is a little over a year since Steve Argles introduced the Cheshire Hash, to what he tells us is the normal trail laying method adopted by Hashes worldwide. He did it again from the White Lion. Once more, he had copied the signs he would be using onto the ground in the pub car park. Once more, as these markers were in flour, Luinga started to eat the trail, whilst Steve was giving instructions. Once more only about half the pack took any notice about the warnings and guidelines the trail layer was giving.

The one bit I did hear was “10.5 kilometres long”, which in territory that can readily be described as undulating, I made a mental note that I might not have the time to consume the planned 3 pints, bearing in mind the likely Hash finishing time. A prophetic thought! To add to the confusion, Steve had introduced his own Hash signs. An “R” and a “W” attached to arrows pointing in different directions at suitable checks. The “R” was for Rambo hashers who wanted to explore the full glory of his trail – where were you Rob when your trail layer needed you? The “W” was for wimps, who could short cut and fulfil the old adage of “any Hash survived is a good Hash!” I acquired a map, as walking is still my only Hashing option.

A quick glance at Steve's planned route, and I thought if I finish this, I 'll be taking up residence next to Tony E in East Cheshire Health Trust's finest facility, whilst they put my heart/lungs/feet/ankles (delete as appropriate) back together again. The trail looked HUGE! Steve then casually explained that he had doubled the size of the map, and not the trail, to make navigation easier. Phew!

As you'd expect, a Hash that was starting out on it's 1,169th run based on one set of rules, did not find it easy to adapt to Steve's 2 nd attempt at other rules. With the benefit of the map I decided to follow the trail until the pack disappeared, and then planned a short cut back to the Boddies. However, the best laid plans etc!! About half way round, on the top of Woodhouse Hill, we had a super view only slightly masked by trees, of the lights in the Mersey valley. Shame it was Runcorn! Without retracing our steps, the only route back to safety was down – steeply! The little group I was still with didn't know whether they were in front, in the middle or the back of the pack. Some had been Rambos earlier on, and some like me Wimps! So from that point of view, Steve's plans were working – but where was Steve? At that point, out came my map! Our little band of pilgrims successfully negotiated the descent to the Tarvin Road, and trundled steadily towards the edge of Helsby, without coming across the other 20 starters.

Then we came to an “R/W” check. Steve's map seemed to show this check should be about 2 fields further on. Anyway, Martin & one or two others ramboed right, and about 6 of us wimped straight on. A little further on as our group slogged up a cow pat splattered field, each lovingly marked with fresh flour, we came to one of Steve's “go back to the road, and think again” signs. It's now 21.05 and with the map showing over 2K left to go, El Presidente mutinied. The map clearly showed about 100 yards beyond Steve's “go back” sign, we'd come to a track that even if we went back, we'd have to come back to anyway. Clear? So it was straight on, and not back to the track.

Another ½ mile flog skywards, and Steve arrives, and politely enquires “are we coming to the top of Helsby Hill for the view?” The problem being, that would take this band of mutineers even further from their intended destination. Now it's one thing mutining in the anonymity of a coal black bog, but quite another with the trail layer quizzing your intentions face to face. So on up to Helsby Hill to enjoy the stunning view, and absorb the surplus noxious vapour being flared off from hydrocarbon city that is Ellesmere Port. Why does anyone live in Helsby? It must be like this every time there is a brisk westerly.

Anyway, back to the pub for 21.30. Into the pub for 21.31. Discussion about the trail was intense. The Rambos pointed out that they were all drinking before the Wimps had even straggled into the car park! Much mutual congratulation. However, after much poring over Steve's magnified maps, it became apparent that the Rambos had completely missed the last mile and a half scenic route! Raucous conversation ensued. Plans for printing T shirts for celebrating the Wimps physical triumph were proposed, but promptly forgotten as the John Smith's worked it's magic. Steve proudly announced he'd laid the trail that day. Took him 4 hours!

He'd worked out that it takes 1kg of flour per 1km of trail. The actual trail was 10.5km, but taking into account false trails, 13km would be a more accurate measure of his weary legs. According to my metric conversion chart, 13kg equals 28lbs in old money – more than a stone and a half. How much does flour cost? Do other Hashes subsidise flour laden trail layers? And you've got to carry the bloody stuff. You'd certainly notice the weight difference between the beginning and end of a trail. As Martin observed, many women would kill for a diet that would let them lose over a stone in 4 hours!

Tuesday 14th September 2004

Tonight was from the Boot at Kelsall and was courtesy of Eleanor and supported by Kevan. She had set in the brightness of Sunday morning which had been followed by many deluges in the next two days.
As a result some of the markers had suffered.
Sadly as it was quite overcast this was the start of the torch for all the hash nights.. much needed for although the start of the trail was by road ( but up hill followed by up) we disappeared along foot paths which had been made poor by erosion and by slippage and the torch was essential.
Although there were a couple of long stretches which strung the pack out a little we all returned back to the pub unscathed and before the heavens opened again.
I still don't know how we get away without it raining most tuesday nights

Tuesday 7th September 2004

I set from the Thorn at Appleton Thorn on a gloriously hot sunday. Unfortunately after running Martin's trail on the Saturday and drinking copious quantities of beer I set with a slight case of dehydration ( very awkward to carry). The trail resulting proved to be just over 5 miles ( only just) but with 26 checks and nice lanes.

A quick report from the On-On sec

c What a jolly good trail and don't let anyone tell you that it didn't look like a duck.
Hashers keep reappearing out of the woodwork, having been in hibernation over the summer months, along with two new runners - a great very pleasant warm evening for a first Hash and not too long!!!! Simon Wright reached his 100th run.
Hop A Long Humphries returned, but on his bike as his leg is not quite up to running yet, I believe that he has been banned from 'body surfing' on future holidays.
Roger T. had an eventful evening, after carefully sorting out his future social events during the trail he then managed to lock his crooklock key into the lock - thus disabling his car very effectively. He managed to scrounge a lift back home planning to cycle back to the Thorn to rescue his car and poor Skye who had been left in the back.
A good pub, my guinness was good and I am told the beer was too, no crisps so there was a a little kitty left this week. OnOn Heather

This report is kindly provided by Ken

The Appleton Thorn. The Webmeister's turn to lay the trail tonight so it would be immodest of him to write his own report.
A large turnout assembled to listen to Max's briefing where he described tonight's trail to be shaped like a duck. (a legless duck, which was apt as I had similar plans for myself.). We set out at sunset on a cloudless evening giving us about 30 minutes afterlight before torches were needed. Out past the YOI to cross the fields alongside the M56 before turning back towards the posh new houses of Appleton. 'It's new money yer know, all fur coat and no knickers!' said Mike.
Onwards then through Dingle Dell after which I didn't know where we were. Some tried to keep up with the spacial awareness test of the duck shaped trail conjecturing whether we were at the duck's bill or the parson's nose. Suddenly we were back at the pub because the trail was only about 5 miles, leaving lots of time for quaffing.
Tony E was policing the bar allowing only John Smiths or Boddingtons because they were the only options under £2. The Boddies was refreshing enough but someone should educate landlords that bitter does not require cooling to the point where condensation forms on the glass.
A few of us retired to a quiet corner where the conversation turned to regional breweries and whether the Hash should introduce a star rating for pubs based on price, taste and service. Mike managed to smuggle a couple of pints of the excellent Cain's before we headed south.
Exiting into the car park we met Dave T walking in. 'Just got back mate?' we enquired having got used to his late excursions. Not on this occasion ? his car was blocked in.

Ken Craig

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Tuesday 31st August 2004

Mike and Pam set the trail in the proximity of Leighton Hospital, near Crewe. The pub was the coach and Horses, a late substitute for the Badger which is unexpectedly closed. The good news was that it was mostly flat and so what started as 31 hashers and 5 dogs went off on trail. We histhered and Yonned and coming up off the canal and as we passed 'The Badger' we encountered Rosie and Roy with the two dogs. They had dowloaded the web info on the previous Wednesday.. not long before I made the change of pub alteration. Further trundling which saw us back track on the canal and then through a hideous field. icky and holey. We then encountered Nick and Heather who had been trapped in traffic. As a result we finished with 35 hashers abd 7 dogs..plus the hashmeister and Harborne who had cycled along. The beer was Tetleys and a great improvement on the previous weeks fare

Mr Jones' notes

Why do Hashers volunteer to lay trails?
The pack always says after they're safely wrapped around some Robinson's – “that trail's too long”, “too muddy”, “too wet”, “too hilly”, “too many checks”, “not enough checks”, etc etc. This week Pam & Mike had more than enough trouble before they finished laying it.
To start with, the chosen venue turned out to be derelict. Maybe the populace is all Methodist around Church Minshull, so a more atheist area round Bradfield Green was chosen as an alternative. Trail laying then turned out to be an adventure. Paths on the map were not on the ground, or where they were available the local farmers had blocked them. A second journey had to be made on Monday, complete with shears & clippers, to make sure that the foliage around some necessary stiles wouldn't cause too many wounds! I suspect that very little walking is done in this area.
Anyway, 44 hardy souls ventured into the South Cheshire gloom, comforted with the thought that if the trail did cause problems, the A & E Department at Leighton hospital was only 2 checks away.
Mr Harborne & I returned to pedalling mode. Unlike the Copper Mine of 2 weeks earlier, our route was flat – oh, and half the distance! In fact, our route seemed to be not much longer than the Eden's trail. The pack wasn't home till nearly 21.25. Still the mood seemed fine. Martin went so far as to pronounce the trail “positively Saharan”, compared with the previous week. Fortunately, this description did not apply to the alcohol consumption, which started with Hashers being presented with row upon row of Boddies on the bar as they creaked into the bar. This landlord's service was the complete opposite of the apathetic attitude at the Brownlow the previous week.

Makes you wonder why some people volunteer to be landlords.

Tuesday 24th August 2004

Tonights trail was a small 'homage' to a trail set in 1992 by Phil Wilson. This was the only hash trail with a timed finish as Phil had severely miscalculated on map scale and instead of what he thought was 10k it was closer to 20k on the ground. Not only that but he set it on the afternoon and only got back just before the off and ran it again.
Several short cut that night and arrived back at the pun at 9:25-9:30. Those that didn't came in at times up to 10:40.
Hoowever, this was not like that. It was set by Brian B and Tony H... It had been the wettest August in many a year... and Mow cop was glowering in the near distance. The night did the honourable Tuesday thing and stopped raining while the trail was on. It was however very wet underfoot and we were soon wading along footpaths, keeping a watch out for Martin the Mudpuppy who likes nothing better than to run past people through puddles.
Some of the fields we were ankle deep in were not composed of water unfortunately. The result of cows and country side. In modern parlance .. they were minging.
Brian made great use of muddy paths and canal footpaths though at one point the hash split into two to meet again at the pub carpark. The beer however was some of Mr Boddingtons worse efforts.

Allan's missive

A Hack Fest – Brownlow Inn 24.08.04 Brian Burgess was the navigator for a trail designed to commemorate Phil Wilson's heroic efforts of 1992 from the Brownlow. Phil no longer runs with us, but his contribution to trail laying is still remembered. He actually finished laying his monumental effort just AFTER the Hash early arrivals turned up in the car park for their weekly fix. So Phil had to do an immediate about turn & set out to do his guidance duty.
45 minutes into the Hash & and Phil was making sure he didn't lose anyone, by patiently waiting for me to extract myself from a boggy towpath on the Macclesfield Canal. The pack had disappeared UPHILL into the inky blackness that was Mow Cop. In answer to my not serious question about going to the top, Phil replied, “Well, actually yes we are!”
I'm afraid I bottled it! I had a quick scan at his map, worked out where I was, & much more fundamentally, where the Brownlow was. And so it came to pass, that myself and the webmeister's wife mutinied & ambled quietly back to the pub, where she decided to record arrival times in “the book”. She reckoned we finished at 21.20. She then clocked all the Hash in as they finished in small dispirited groups or as haggard individuals. It appeared our mutiny had not been a solitary effort. To his credit, Phil was in the final bunch home credited with a time of 21.53! He had been on the trail since 15.30. Probably no one else in Cheshire Hash history has spent 6 ¼ consecutive hours (& God knows how many miles) on one trail!
Last Tuesday, I had a feeling that some similar experience may be about to occur when our current trail layer didn't appear by 19.45! A quick glance at Mow Cop showed it was invisible behind a mountainous black cloud that looked like the aftermath of a volcanic eruption. Dave Taylor had arrived direct from work, having driven through this doom laden meteorological freak show to announce in his dead pan way, “Stoke is floating!” Whilst waiting for our trail layer to overcome a modest piece of cartographic inexactitude in locating his chosen venue, bets were being taken as to which direction this 40,000 foot charcoal Mow Cop obliterating monster would move. Fortunately, the optimists were right, & our little athletic group would only be sodden from the ground up!
As we stumbled, slithered & swore our way round, Brian stated, “It wasn't like this when we laid it!” Roads were completely covered with rain water, paths were quagmires, and where cattle had recently waded through farm gates, the ground was indescribable, except to say solid it wasn't! There was no chance of avoiding cow pats, as it was impossible to distinguish them from the surrounding stinky morass. Martin was in heaven! He has this ground crushing running style that creates bow waves of water & effluent that has his Hash colleagues cowering, as he hurtles through the pack, which is solely concentrating solely on survival to the next sliver of tarmac. If only he hadn't been driving, this would have been his perfect Hash!
In fact, the service in the Brownlow was such that even those who weren't driving nearly ended up tee total. This is a big pub, & despite being told we were coming, only had a solitary & dilatory lady attempting to slake the thirsts of some very impatient punters! Roger Turner got persuaded to order the second round of drinks, and eventually got quite amused by the stream of Hashers wandering up to him, querying what the delay was! The tortoise service was not apparently helped by beer pumps that delivered very suspect Boddingtons, at a rate that made drawing Guinness look positively Formula 1. This is only our second visit here, & I think there won't be a third!

Tuesday 17th August 2004

I have been away and for tonight I returned and volunteered to drive Mr Hack and Mr Glover through the depths of Cheshire to the Copper Mine on a damp but not too severe evening. As shown in later reports on offer the trail involved going around Bickerton hill in various directions.
Unfortunately for the majority of hashers the overcast conditions and the preponderance of trees meant that not bringing a torch was a bit of a mistake. It got dark. The trail was good but I was fortunate that Ian was backing up well as Bridget, John and I had got slightly dropped by the rest of the pack and he pulled us back onto the correct trail. At this point as we went up again he realised from the calling that the rest of the pack had taken a downhill path so he set off to pull them back.
We came back onto the run in and were advised to go straight down and as I trotted along with Eleanor we went straight on past the telephone box and then we realised that a slight right turn was required at the next to drop us into the carpark.
Others more attentive than myself? has heard the instructions to take a right and had turned right at the phone box. They had a longer run in than me. but when I arrived at the cars I found David T and Dr Dave changed and ready to imbibe. As it wasd beginning to rain I waited long enough to pass the keys onto Mr H and legged it into the pub myself.

Controversy!!! The Copper Mine – 17.08.04 Report from Allan

Mr Harborne decided on Monday, that as his regular Tuesday activity was on holiday, he wouldn't mind pedalling to the Hash. As my osteopath had warned me on pain of more treatment, (& therefore more cost), NOT to run on my dodgy Achilles, I accepted his kind offer. He then asked the venue, and on hearing he had committed himself to a 28 mile undulating cycle said *********!! This turned out to be a very prescient comment, as multiple similar oaths were to be uttered by bedraggled Hashers, as they straggled across the car park at the conclusion of a clearly dank & memorable event involving the woods and contours of the Bickerton Hills.

When John & I pedalled in at 21.15, there were about 7 or 8 Hashers ambling about a damp car park, some already changed. Poor turnout we thought, but it is a long way, and the weathers not clever. We hauled our bikes onto his bike rack, and then changed. Through out these lengthy activities the odd extra Hasher trundled in looking distinctly damp & unhappy. By 21.30, 35 hardy souls had emerged from the rural gloom – and only half a dozen had illumination! When Nick walked across the car park, for the first time since I've known him, enunciated a profane observation on proceedings.

In the pub afterwards, things became a little clearer. Towards the end of an otherwise good Hash, a group of Hashers and the trail layers had a navigational dysfunction about what “& take the right fork” actually meant!! The right fork they were meant to take, would have led them back to the pub within 2 or 3 minutes. The right fork they actually took had them halfway to the Bickerton Poacher, before a combination of a sense of self-preservation, thirst & “my God is that the time!” helped them plot & execute an about turn back to the boozer!

I suspect the 2 trail layers may not have noticed the breakaway if they were sweeping at the back, but I stand to be corrected. There was another smaller breakaway group that were first back to the pub. Young Mr Taylor was their leader, who announced as he galloped away into the night, “I know the way!” As his verbal locational assistance got fainter & fainter, the others called to him to slow down. No chance! Shortly after Mr Taylor's disappearance into the gloom, Jean found herself alone in a wood with Tony Ellis. “You won't leave me?” said a completely lost Jean. Tony replied, “ No, you're in safe hands!” Hmmm!

Report from David L

The Grand Old Dukes of Ian & Gian They had about 30 Hashers
They marched them up to the top of the hill and they marched them down again,
and again, and again, and again, and again and .......
When they were up they were up and when they were down they were down
and when they were only half way up they were knackered !!

Tuesday 3rd August 2004

3rd August. This trail was from the Horseshoe in Kingsley and was set by David 'Travis' Lever (Why does it always rain on me?). Torrential rain storms had turned the local roads and lanes into rivers and streams and we wondered what was in store for us on the run. Fortunately the hash gods did their usual favour and turned the taps off before kick off. David also avoided most of the floods by setting the run mostly uphill, passing the occasional Ark as we went. So apart from one particularly cloying potato field we enojoyed an excellent, varied trail. There was a good turnout of paws tonight. Apart from the regular pooches named after Scottish islands, we also had BOB and DYLAN. Could a new trend be developing here - are we going to get new dogs called Simon and Garfunkel or Emerson, Lake and Palmer? Late in the run we were running uphill away from the pub, when we crossed Alan, Peter and Bob walking downhill towards the pub. A certain Mr. Ellis was witnessed making an about turn and joining them. Ken Craig.

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Tuesday 27th July 2004

27/7 The Bleeding Wolf, Scholar Green. Nick and Heather gave us a return visit to this pub in the rarely visited south-east corner of Cheshire. The last time we were here we hashed by coincidence the pub of the same unusual name in Hale the following week (that one is now an ex-pub, it is no more.).
The rain of earlier in the day had given way to a fine, warm, humid evening as we set out along the towpaths of two canals that played a big part in the trail. We also moved in a generally upwards direction coming perilously near to Mow Cop. Thankfully this wasn't consummated and we turned steeply downhill to rejoin the towpaths.
Those of us involved will never forget that fearsome night over ten years ago when we went over the top. Alan Jones who had led a breakaway rebellion was sat in the pub window recording the stragglers as they staggered back ? some as late as 10 o'clock.
John Moorhouse was to be seen at various points staring into his new toy ? a GPS ? on which he was trying to track our progress. I don't know how successful he was ? the thing seemed to have as much sense of direction as Brian. Ken Craig

Tuesday 13th July 2004

Karen was able to call on two assistants for this trail from the Spring Gardens at Marple Bridge. Mike Murray and Steve , her better half who provided two sterilg services. He set some of the trail and he went in to order 1 pints so we could change and then go in to start drinking. Being Marple Bridge there was the knowledge from the 30 hashers and 1 dog ( later 33 as Sarah and two of her offspring arrived slightly late) that there was going to be an uncertain amount of Up. We avoided this at the start as Karen took us down to the bridge and we followed may of the paths along and over the canals and byways.
Clive's wife showed hashing experience and local knowledge by finding short cuts which she managed to keep from her children who performed very well in getting round the full hash including a little checking.
The weather stayed warm and bright throughout the trail and we all ran back to enjoy the beer. The only problem I could see was that the chip shop was not open.

Tuesday 6th July 2004

Dr Rob had set one of his adventure trails tonight. The difference was the location. Rather than Knutsford Pam and Mike were hosting the trail which was set up by Rob with the assistance of Paul J.
In case you were not familiar:- the format is that you form into teams of either foot warriors or bike riders. The teams are between 2 and 4 and you have to stick together and collect as many points as possible. You get a map and locations on the map have more points the further they are away.
There is a time limit.. after which you start losing 2 points per minute late. This leads to some fine judgement as to whether the next location will covcer your losses for going to it.
It turned out very interestingly.. lots of winners as Rob finds many categories.
The Leading bike team was the power group that was Kevan and Eleanor assisted by Steve M. Steve said he learned a lot about slip streaming and not letting the underhills get too far away...They were victorious with 155 points
The foot favourites were Alisdair, David T and John M who came in with the joint highest score of 85 as they were matched by the mixed grouping of Martin H, Sarah T and her oldest lad and Me. We also managed to get 85 using a different route to the AD&J. Sarah was much pleased. The group worked well. Martin knew mostly where things were , I kept the time and Sarah had this ability to run and read a map correctly at the same time.
It was a good do, thanks rob and great thanks to Pam and Mike for the food and location.

Tuesday 29nd June 2004

The Davids created a trail over towards Chester when they caused the hash to visit Christleton, just south of Chester. I did my best to get the Lymm bus to miss the junction but failed and we arrived early for the trail.
The pub was pleasantly placed by the canal and we were required to immediately run down the tow path. The start provided many-way checks in the fine sunshine and as there were an abundance of footpath trails the legs were mildly chastised by bramble and nettle.
The territory has not been much hashed by us and it was a pleasant experience. The run in though was remeniscent of Doctor Rob on his vague days.. a fairly long trundle down the canal towpath back home. Ian was having a bit of a problem with his dog, Woody, who kept trying to leap into the canal. Excellent

Tuesday 22nd June 2004

Not even the god of the tuesday hash can overcome the powerful rain magic that is Wimbledon. The trail was run in a faint drizzle, sufficient to make some surfaces ( stiles) a little slippy.
David and David took us straight up the hill opposite the pub and through the woods. This is always a struggle to catch up, especially for the Lymm bus as we turned up in time to see the last dissapearing up the hill. It is amazing how much 'up' those two can find even when you are nominally at the top of the hill, and without appearing to do much 'down' in between.
That said the trail was mostly along wooded paths which were very comfortable on the legs, not so good when you fell over the tree stumps though. The pub was good but the problem we are finding with some pubs is the price of the beer kills the kitty before the second round. It makes you wonder how a Sam smiths or Holts pub in an out of the way place can charge 1.25-1.35 per pint and another selling substandard Boddies (excepting last week) or Theakstons can justify over £2.00 . HOWEVER a good trail from the duo.

Tuesday 15th June 2004

We went down to mid Cheshire this week to Haughton Moss, just south of Bunbury. The trail was prepared by Nick and Heather and run on a bright sunny evening from the 'Nags Head, a pleasant looking pub. As usual we filed off and made immediate use of the footpaths. 'Our founder' Allan was with us again and running, a process you could have bet against 12 months ago. A goodly number made the trip down and were not disappointed by the trail or the beer.
At the end I had popped my head round the pub door and by the time we had changed there were three lines of cool pints set out on a table waiting to be worked on. This was excellent for more than one reason. One the view , and two that this was the first drinkable pint of Boddies I had had in over a year. It was so decent I had to sample several of them.

Nags Head (Haughton?)

I completely agree with the Webmeister's comments about me running again! I have no idea why after 4 ½ years, my aching ankles don't, (well, not much), which means I can struggle round again. It's fascinating to see that the basic Hash remains the same, about 5 ½ to 6 miles long, with a finish at 21.10, although there were a few a month or so ago, finishing before 9 p.m. Heaven for Mr Ellis!
I've not done a weekly Hash report for months, initially because of the time involved in inputting all the Hash data into a spreadsheet, & subsequently from laziness. I shall try and get up some literary enthusiasm. My thanks to everyone for their very kind words on my shambling return.
Can you all please make sure I don't get lost?

Tuesday 8th June 2004

Tony Ellis is definitely getting better with his trails. This was from th Ship at Danebridge on the borders of Staffordshire/Derbyshire/Cheshire. The evening was brilliant for hashing, we did not have the blazing heat that was predicted and I am sure that the first part of the hash was excellent. The Lymm bus unfortunately missed it due to running late on the pickup loop. We did however have Brooke hashing at speed for the first time since his hernia op three weeks ago and we also had a flying pickup of Bambi from a motorway services on the M6. ( On dropping her off later she did ask us to let her off near the truck park Hmmm!!)
One thing you do find down near the Ship are a lot of contour lines close together and it was interesting tripping, lightly, over them. The trail managed to lose Steve early on but he bravely checked on and arrived back at the pub only a short time after the rest of us. The beer was excellent as we stood out in the road drinking it and to finish off was a lowish key presentation of John M's 200th hash tankard. A fine trail but I must allow more than an hour next time.

Tuesday 1st June 2004

The Vine The territory around here has had a severe bashing of late but this did not prevent Prof Shiggy and his associate Brian B from setting an interesting and muddy trail on this brilliantly sunny evening. The start was from the Vine, Not a stones throw from the previous week
However the stone was not cast. A good turnout of hashers set off through the first muddy field, currently filled with cows. It is amazing how cows, normally so timid, relatively, will gallop after a dog on a leash and try to give it a bit of bother. This could almost have been a tour of pubs as we passed within hailing distance of the Railway at Heatley, The Barn Owl on Warrington Lane, The Old No 3, The Stamford Arms, The Swan with two Nicks before gallopping across moe fields for the run in and pints of Sam Smiths to do the kitty a good turn.

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Tuesday 25th May 2004

I had pulled a shoulder muscle and had to cry off for this trail and I got two reports. One from Ken and one from David T.. as follows

Ken Says

Tuesday 25th May. The Rope & Anchor (Roger P and Boswell).
There's an odd trend these days to arrive unfashionably early at 19:35 for runs these days.
To pass the time, Dave A organised a race between Special K and Nicky to see whose convertable could open its' roof and then close it again the quickest. If you're interested, Karen's Peugot beat the Mercedes in both events. Meanwhile Dave was still struggling with the press-studs on his TR6.
The car park antics over, the merry pack set out on the trail, stopping after 10 yards for a 7-way check. A good trail ensued, using the canal, pennine trail, and a variety of fields (and livestock) and lanes. Pam took a tumble twisting an ankle, but not too seriously thankfully.
I left early to commence training for Higgo's trail from the nearby Vine next week where I look forward to sampling the Sam Smiths afterwards. Ken Craig

and David

A fast trail set by Roger P and Simon W through the fields, lanes and towpaths of Dunham on a good night for running. Normally I would not believe Roger or Simon capable of any dissembling, but they did send me the wrong way several times with a completely straight faces. Clearly something I'd never do myself.
Two particular parts of the trail stand out. The stretch around the edge of a recently sowed field where a local resident (who had failed the screen test for Grumpy Old Men for being too extreme) provided friendly support and advice about avoiding the drills. If the farmer covers the footpath with vegetables, where else can one run?
The other section of note was the half mile through what can only be described as a nettle rich environment. It didn't quite match the bramble jungle of one of Mr Jones' previous sets in Chelford, but it wasn't far off. My legs still tingle now, and it's not very pleasant.
The pub was somewhat deserted as we arrived back, with the somewhat portly locals being out numbered about five to one by the finely honed, endorphin rich athletes that now constitute the Cheshire Hash. I'd hate to see what the pub is like on a slow night.
Thanks to Roger & Simon

Tuesday 18th May 2004

• It was 22 years ago today
• Sergeant Allan taught the hash to play,
• We've been going on and over Styles
• while we've hashed along those many miles
• So we're glad to introduce to you
• the Cheshire county motley crew
• that's Sergeant Allans barmy hash house band

Ah well. thank goodness that's out of my system. We met at the Crown at Peover where Allan had laid on a trail and some food. The turn out was excellent considering that so many of the regulars were away.
The total was 43 people and 7 dogs which is about the most in total we've had. and included a visitor from Brussels Hash ( Sir Crash Test dummy) who checked like a demon and was mostly a FRB.

Allan organised one of his tight trails, not more than a mile and a half from the pub at any time. This was back watched by David L and everyone enjoyed the sunshine and warmth of the May evening
Another Cheshire first-timer was from the Desert hash ( Jeanette ?) who got round well but felt that she needed a couple of gym sessions to get up to speed.

Food was waiting as ordered at the pub with 20 + pints set along the bar in preparation After the meal Allan did his hashstatto thing and presented everyone with their personal record as he has been putting the hash book onto file.

A good night was had by all. Cheers Allan.

Tuesday 11th May 2004

The trail was the first of the year to be run without the aid of torches. The evening broke clear and 34 nhashers and 3 dogs prepared for the off. Millie was, as usual , especially keen to get under way. It was good to see the return of several missing faces such as Daniel O'B who is recovered from his leg op, Mike was back after his spring flu and Louise was fresh from running in the world triathlon championships in Madeira. It was unlikely to be very muddy as Lynn was co-hare but there was enough to keep Mr Hack happy. The trail was from the Bluecap at Cuddington and combined many footpaths and road routes.

Tuesday 4th May 2004

Simon W set his first trail for tonight and was supported by Roger P ( with Boswell.) The location chosen wa s the 'Swan with 2 Nicks' at Little Bollington, near Lymm at which a total of 35 ( including the 3 dogs) gathered. It was damp underfoot but the rain had stopped 15 minutes before the hash set off

You could tell that the nights were getting lighter as Lynn is appearing on a weekly basis again.

We went off and worked our way out and then across the park at Dunham to come out and then cross into the Dunham Forest Golf Course. Several routes were checked out before we took a less rural route before reaching the Bay Malton. This was a short respite before we set off down the Trans Pennine trail for a short while.

A few fields brougt us to the back of Dunham Massey and the Rope and Anchor where we re-entered the Trans Pennine briefly. and made or way past the Vine and then back across the fields before running in to the pub again. At this point the rain re-started gently. A good trail and , importantly, completed without needed the torch

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Tuesday 27th April 2004

The two Davids set from the Shrewsbury Arms near Little Budworth. As I set off having picked up Brooke and Martin we had the usual discussion, Which pub, Which way and followed by the severely testing question.. 'Did anyone look at the map?' The concensus where the Lymmbus was concerned was that none of us having done so was no bar to us turning up at the same time as usual:- late. But as an extraordinary turnaround we arrived early....shock..horror. The rain had just about stopped:- it was tuesday after all: and away we went 29 and 3 dogs. Over the road and to the first check down someones drive and off to the fields. The pace was steady and well marshalled by the hares. I had a night of extremes.. I was either well on trail or well off so that I only saw some of the pack at the start and finish. The trail looped us round the back of Oulton Park and ran us in in almost light. If the clouds had lifted it would have been quite light. Two weeks and we can abandon the torches.

Tuesday 20th April 2004

The trail was set by Nick and the On-On Sec from the Railway innn at Mobberley. A fair turnout was there including a number of those who had run the London. All had done well under very cool and wet conditions.

The trail went out along the road to start with but soon went across paths and fields. It was not to muddy considering the rain at the weekend but the hares had laid well. The route took us out towards Manchester airport and made a lot of use of the plane-spotters path round the runways. A loop back along parts of the route of the Wilmslow half and a brisk run-in across the fields brought us to the alcoholic conclusion for the evening ( drivers excepted)

Tuesday 13th April 2004

Tonights trail was set from the Barn owl under strict instructions from the on-on sec to not set anything silly as she was doing the London the following weekend. To hear is to obey. The trail was originally laid out as 9 k but was modified during setting bringing it back to 8.5 k ( a little less than 5.5 miles. There were many 4 and 5 way checks but unfortunately Rob S managed to find a lot of on-ons ( fortunately not all) As a result we got back to the pub by ten to nine. Rob called it a bit girly but the ladies of the hash generally said 'ta'. An additional bonus was ' Our Glorious Leader' ( OGL) (trademark) ran through the full trail for the first time in a few years without his feet dying on him. Having to drink extra Marstons in the longer time in the pub was, of course, a major hardship Although we have run from here several times there was new choice in footpaths due to the completion in layout of the Millenium 'Spud Wood'

Tuesday 6th April 2004

Tonight our glorious leader ignored his aches and pains and set a trail from the car park at the entrance to Marbury Country Park. A shortish trail ( claimed 5.5 miles) with about 34 checks the pack moved at a brisk rate but did the Allan thing of being together as there was sufficient trickery to keep the front runners in check. The evening was typically spinglike. shorts but with gloves! Lots of off road but good footpaths and many brisk up and downs.

After the run in from Adderton Lift it was a quick change and then back to The Cock O Budworth for beer

It was good to see Kevan and Eleanor in their matching 'We won our bit of the Polaris' tops on. Well done. It sounded a bit wild.. weather wise

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Tuesday 30th March 2004

Tony and Brian set from the Cock o'Budworth, an old style Holts pub. Holts is good, inexpensive so the hash kitty goes further. It was a mild evening and defionitely shorts weather. It had been a mild sunny day and the evening held up. As the clocks had changed on Saturday we had over half an hour of torchless running. This reflected on the pack who moved through the trail at a brisk rate. There were some new hashers out who benefitted from having two such experienced hares to shepherd them round safely. The trail was a god combination of on and off road with a couple of loops to keep us awake. We returned to the pub in good time and settled down to the important bit.

Tuesday 23rd March 2004

Asy toes ached from the Wilmslow I did not particapate tonight but we have A Report from the on-on secThe Whipping Stocks, Peover

An excellent evening, beautiful clear, starlit night and the wind had died away - a bit cold on the extremities but nothing that a good pair of gloves couldn't cure.

Ray and his assistant Monty had a bit of trouble herding everyone out of the car park - lots of chat about the Wilmslow Half. However once underway a brisk pace took us over the fields, through the edge of Radbroke Hall and then towards Ollerton and back towards Peover's many lanes and paths eventually heading back to the pub via Peover Hall where a woman leant out of one of the upstairs windows demanding to know what we were all doing

"Running" came the reply.

Surprisingly the ground was not as wet as expected which must have been a bit of a disappointment to Martin. All in all a jolly good well marked trail and I even got in an extra 2.5 miles of Marathon training by running to the pub first.

A huge fire in the Whipping Stocks made the pub seem even more welcoming than usual.

Tuesday 16th March 2004

Adrian has set more trails this year than usual and tonight was from the Legh Arms in Knutsford. It was relatively warm 12 degrees so the pack was sweltering along in overheat mode. The trail started with a feinting loop out to the east before cutting back into Knusford to pick our way by the common and then back out. A tricky bit was reached when a field was encountered with SIX electric fences to be ducked under with the warning that they gave a stiff jolt when the trail was set so it was best to avoid them. The three hares managed the pack between them and there waere som interesting dog legs through the urban green trails of Knutsford followed by some beer in the comfort of the Legh Arms.

Tuesday 9th March 2004

Tonight was a run of two pubs. Rob had said he was setting from the Frozen Mop and then ; when he turned up to lay the trail realised that he meant the Plough and Flail. Much judicious emailing and posting Tim M at the Mop to redirect stray traffic ensured that there was a quorum for the trail.

We got underway on a breezy night though mild and had a varied trail with an interestingly close visit near the pub at about 8:35 before veering away. At this point we picked up Jean who had arrived late and missed the pack. Until then she had been trying to get a bearing on the distant cries of 'on-on'. Unusual for Rob he provided checks nearly all the way back to the pub so was without his hallmark 1 mile run in.

Tuesday 2nd March 2004

Tonight we have mostly been running from the Golden Pheasant at Plumley. Last time we went from here it was sheet ice all round. However Paul had arranged that it was merely frosty with a bright quarter moon so that we could nearly see where we were going. We got off to a brisk start...almost getting up to the A556 before turning off into a field. This was followed by several more fields before coming back to the 3rd check again!. Off we went again. It appeared, later, that Paul had set on an - on the left going out and on the right coming back - system to keep it simple as we used several check more than once in the course of the trail.

Several times we met Allan and Maggie who were doing the walking bit. Sometimes they were going our way and sometimes the complete opposite.

I haeard later that at one point early in the trail, Kevan, while checking, came up to the walkers going in his direction and expressed pleasure that he had to be going the correct way. This was , naturally , a challenge to Allan and Maggie who looked at the map and did a rapid re-think. They then broke into a trot in order to cut across the trail so that in future if any hashers met them they were going in the opposite direction to the pack. They enjoyed that.

However.. we got back to the pub in good time and enjoyed some of John Willie Lees best bitter.

Tuesday 24th February 2004

Mike set the trail from the attractive Bulls Head at Davenham. The night looked a bit iffy but brightened up with the clouds clearing and the crescent moon doing its bit. Mike had started by saying how short it was going to be. Many Cheers from the turn out of 34 including dogs. Some regulars still missing David L in NZ where I gather it has rained a lot Hmmm!... We were off briskly in the 'not-rain' and soon among the dark ways of Davenham. I checked quite a bit.. mostly wrongly and was surprised to meet Kevan with Millie the dog. I knew he was around somewhere as Nicola has said but had not expected to be passed by him on one side and Millie on the other. especially as they were joined by a lead. There is a good turn out of the younger element to balance up us olders. The trail was longer than expected , probably about 5.75 but the twists about at the end were interesting. We were not bothered, as expected, by a quiz night so the pub was also good

Tuesday 17th February 2004

A trip to Sandbach was on offer tonight for a trail from Roger T and a virgin set from newish hasher Jean. The venue was a Robinsons pub at Sandbach Heath and it was very difficult running off while being assailed with the excellent odour from the Chippy two doors from the pub. But off we must go. I started badly by getting the first few checks wrong and my accuracy did not really improve throughout the night. Even though Roger had said that it was not muddy we were soon ankle deep using a good network of fields and footpaths to bring us out beside the motorway and then to the Romping Donkey in Hassel Green from where we headed back up the county. A bit of slip-sliding eventually brought us back to dry land and the run in to the pub. A good trail on a bright starry evening.

Tuesday 10th February 2004

The trail tonight was from the Rifleman in Wilmslow and was set by the on-on sec and the closest we have to an RA Nick T. The evening was another warm one and the turnout was good. Martin has recovered mostly from his hamstring injury and managed to stick to his plan to get round. We started out by checking up and down a few urban routes before heading down a number of footpaths and grassier ways. The on-on, mindful of last week's mud and the strong winds and rain while setting had produced a trail that was mostly above ground and not too wet. The ways were still a bit dodgy with bits of broken tree littering the trail but we were all brought home in one piece

Tuesday 3rd February 2004

another trail from the mighty threesome that comprises Peter R, Brian B and Tony H, set from a regular haunt of the Stags Head at Great Warford. Not only did they suceed in setting the trail, they managed a promotional price on the Black Sheep and even more ( gasp..shock) mine Host Laurence joined us on trail. This last was somewhat of a first for the Cheshire H3. As it had been raining steadily the trail was somewhat moist underfoot but the weather had warmed to above 10C and brought out an unseasosonal array of shorts from hashers, and without Ken being there.

I made the mistake of getting the first 5 checks right, so you don't get to rest, and then the 6th a long way wrong so had to play catch-up. This tends to leave you a touch knackered for the the next bit of the trail.

The ground was surprisingly firm across fields at the early part of the hash and good use was made of the off road and eventually we came to a footpath which was well clarty. From here on it was a bit muddy and at one point there was a field ankle deep in stuff which we traversed under the gaze of a cow with it's head poking though a gap in a barn. Towards the end we hit a ploughed field that enaled us to come out the other end 10 pounds heavier. It was an excellent trail and the Beer was good and welcome.

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Tuesday 27th January 2004

From the edges of Altrincham at Broadheath we met at the Bay Malton for a trail set by Tony H and Brian B. After the 'no rain' comments of last week I was expecting punishment for hubris but although there was some precipitation it was not major stuf. Merely a light fall of snow which turned to very faint drizzle. Enough to make my specs a problem. The Bay Malton is set by a river at Broadheath on the edge of fields and although we have been from there before I must have missed it.

The way out took us immediately off road and down a field which bordered an industrial estate. Onro the road and then soon back to checking across the fields. The routes were very varied and mixed combining town routes, disused railway lines, transpennine way, fields and canal/river routes and was put together in a challenging way which always held your interest. We seemed close to circumnavigating the crematorium at one point but managed to work away from it.

Dave A performed sterling checking work 'testing' last week's ankle injury. I suspect it passed. I excelled by managing to run the same trail as everyone else for the first time in a while. The chatting in the pub was carried out while the trophy presenters were scratching about for nominations ( see main web site). Special K was set on the pack by Adrian to gather funds and menu selections for the hash bash, a job she carried out with gusto.

Allan J has been very regular of late following a walking route which impinges on the hash. Sometimes he is accompanied by crocked hashers and sometimes by visitors. As you can tell he also provides very effective 'ear-witness' reports of the trail goings-on and some of the pub detail

The trail was excellent and this was heard from several of the pack.

Tuesday 20th January 2004

This part of the hash report is so consistent it is worth commenting on again. It was raining quite hard most of the day, at least in the places I was at. It was drizzling as I left home. It stopped raining at about 7:35 and did not really get going again until after the hash had finished. I know we have had some really bad rainy nights but the start of this paragraph holds true a lot of the time.

Back to the trail. tonight was set by Brian B and Tony 'Prof shiggy' H from the Salt Barge at Marston. It was from here last year that we effectively had three hares and not more than 4 people ran the same trail. I arrived slightly late to a pack of 34+dogs approximately. and we went off down the main drag towards Northwich. To show how busy the checking got Allan J who was following his now usual 'walk about until the hash gets back to the pub' al fresco trail, passed us three times. The trail was soon off road and worked its way round to Northwich by the footpaths and then after getting close to our start onto the canal and , away from the pub again. I trundle down past a couple of bridges brought us up onto the road near the middlewich road and then through a small gap in a hedge back down the other side of the canal on a slippy path made narrower by overhanging , eye poking branches.A quick exit through a barb wire fence and over an electric one took us back to 'civilsation. Not long after this I fell of a check and the entire pack had vanished so I trundled back along the roads for a pint.

Tuesday 13th January 2004

The trail was set tonight by Roger P and back marked by Mike E from The Romper besides Manchester airport.

The weather tonight was well up to Cheshire Hash standard. It was peeing downmost of the day and also at 7:35 as we travelled along the M56. At 7:38 it stopped raining, the clouds cleared, the wind reduced and at 7:50 when the hash set out the weather was fine. The ground however was very sticky on the fields and footpaths. The start took us along the side of the M56 via a couple of footpaths (lakes) before angling away from the motorway

Eventually we came out onto a path at the end of the runway tarmac where we stood and looked at planes landing for a few minutes before we were called to order and let off through large puddles. The trail was well monitored and no one was lost. A very good trail.

The sad bit of the night was that it was Jane's last regular trail with the hash. She started in the frost and ice of last January and has been very regular ( that is not a prune joke) hasher and member of the LymmBus (tm). She is moving job to Milton Keynes ( they have a hash there but are likely to be of the more serious drinking variety). She is taking a break to New Zealand before starting the new job

. Bambi will be missed by all as can be seen by the fact that the male hashers formed an orderly queue to give her an 'au revoir' hug. Ken had printed annd mounted a photo from a summer trail to give to her though Adrian was disappointed that he was not on it. She has said that if she is up during a midweek then she will make a distinct effort to get to her 50. Her turnout stats were a very good 45 trails out of a possible 54.

The Romper – 13.01.04 by Allan J

A New Year has arrived, and as I coughed & spluttered my way out of 2003 & into 2004 (New Year celebrations got cancelled in our house), my first hobble of this leap year was from one of my old favourites The Romper.

Until 2 or 3 years ago it used to be Olde. Built about 300 odd years ago, it had had about 2 scheckles & a groat spent on its maintenance since construction, until it got Chef & Brewered. The old flag floor & oak benches have gone, but the old beams remain. I wonder if Ken thinks they came from old ships timbers?

The old landlady has also gone, possibly to that great brewery in the sky. She reminded me of Mrs Bailey the martinet who ran the Harrington Arms at Gawsworth until she was at least 80. Both exuded the charm & decorum of inner city 19th Century landladies. No customer care course credits for these two. I was in the Romper one evening 15 odd years ago with about 10 other punters. These included a young couple, where the fella was busily engaged in exploring the mysteries within his ladies 34C cup, to her evident pleasure, when the landlady ambled into the bar. Surveying the scene, she lowered her head, looked over the top of her pince nez at this young rake and said, “I've got a room upstairs you can rent, if you want to do the job properly!”

Anyway to return to 2004, Roger P turned out to be this evening's pilot. However, there was no Boswell his faithful hound, who had apparently been left, tied to the kitchen sink, whilst his Master contemplated the challenge of delivering the Hash warm & dry to the lounge bar by 21.15, without having to worry about any canine navigational dysfunction.

A quick glance at his planned route showed a trip across the Bollin Valley on the way past the old brickworks to the end of the old Manchester Airport runway. The problem being this route must inevitably mean a second crossing of the Bollin, which in early January would bear a distinct similarity to the Conan Doyle's Grimpen Mire in the Hound of the Baskervilles, namely a bottomless quagmire.

So, the walking party decided a gentle tour of the middle class back roads of Hale would be more appealing. Apparently, John Moorhouse made an unfortunate discovery just as the pack was leaving. He'd forgotten his Nikes! So a pleasant evening ensued whilst he waded through the depths of the Bollin in a natty pair of suede sneakers. Inevitably, they were deemed unsuitable for the lounge bar, but Dave Taylor resolved his problem by providing him with a choice of footwear from the 4 spare pairs of footwear he had in his boot. 4 spare pairs! I don't own 4 pairs.

The evening finished with a presentation to Jane, who is moving to Milton Keynes, where she proposes to join the local Hash. From their website they appear to be a more traditional Hash. This means using nicknames as methods of communication, flour to mark trails, & having down downs & circles at the end of each hash. (Whatever they are!) Good luck Jane! It's going to be different.

Tuesday 6th January 2004

The Railway, Mobberley report is provided by David T

The first hash of the new year returned to an old favourite.

It appeared that there were multiple trail layers, with the advertised pairing of Adrian and Colin apparently supplemented from time to time by Dr. Arthur. T

he trail benefitted from this distributed management organisation, with no discernable pattern to the distance of markers from the check, the size of said markers, or indeed the side of the trail the markers were placed on. At one point all three denied responsibility for setting part of the trail, suggesting the existence of a mystery fourth trail layer.

A moderately wet week beforehand and farmers with ploughs to use and fields to till ensured that the going was officially heavy from time to time. Most of an early field attached itself to trainers and was therefore distributed a little more widely across Cheshire (perhaps this is how GM crops migrate ?).

The trail progressed around the edges of Mobberley and thankfully avoided the more traditionally muddy bits before returning towards the pub via the traditional finish for runs from the Railway.

In the pub afterwards congratulations were in order for Karen, 100 runs, all accomplished in style with only a modicum of perspiration and David Lever, 300 runs, no comment on style or the degree of perspiration, although the words "a lot" and "none" appear relevant (but not in that order).

Thanks to the trail layers, whoever they may be.

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